Comments on: Godparents?

By: Kiwi Nomad 2006

Kiwi Nomad 2006 — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 20:27:00 +0000

I was asked to be a ‘third’ godparent for a child, even though I was not a practising Catholic. I am sure that some of you will condemn that. Myself, I almost felt sick to be asked at first. But the parents wanted me there as I had such an involvement with their family. At the baptism itself, I was the one who ended up holding the baby, as one of the other ‘proper’ godparents was on crutches with a broken leg, and the other ended up having to attend to her own baby.
Being a godparent has led to me having a special relationship with this boy who is now a teenager. We go out every few months these days for a special godmother-godson time, eg to have a hot chocolate. I was asked to his confirmation.
I have not ‘returned’ to the church. But being a godmother is one way I have kept in touch a little with the church.

By: Catholic Mom

Catholic Mom — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 19:07:00 +0000

I know exactly how you are struggling to find Godparents. My husband is a convert so no one on his side of the family is Catholic. My sister left the Faith when she was in college. My brother was nominally Catholic when I had my first two children so he was the Godparent for both of them. However, he subsequently became a non-practicing Catholic. By the time number 3 came along I asked my parents in spite of their advanced ages. When number 4 came along, I ended up asking friends who are about our age and solidly Catholic. The good news is my brother has returned to the Faith and is now taking his role as Godfather very seriously. The friends keep in touch at Christmas but are not too involved with my youngest child.I don’t think there is a perfect answer. Pray about it then make your decision. Then keep praying because you can’t parent without prayer.

By: Melora

Melora — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 16:22:00 +0000

I’d go with the aunts. Unless they are unhealthy, they should hang on long enough to provide some guidance until your children are pretty much grown. While it would be nice to have godparents who also would act as legal guardians should the need arise, I don’t think that this has to be the case. I think of a godparent as an additional loving adult in a child’s life, who takes an interest in the child’s progress in all areas, but particularly in spiritual progress. My kids have a godmother who comes and visits them, remembers them on holidays, and talks to them in an appropriate way about prayer and behaviour. She wouldn’t be prepared to be a legal guardian, I don’t think, but I believe she would do her best to guide the kids in their spiritual growth if we were gone, and that seems like enough to me.

Regarding the Lovenox. Can you contest your insurerer’s decision? When I was pregnant, our insurance initially denied the request for Lovenox but agreed to pay for it (and I couldn’t believe the price either!) after we made a big fuss. I suppose they might look at it differently for a longer term (like the rest of your fertile life) perscription, but maybe you could get a special exemption on religious grounds?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:57:00 +0000

Grrrr .. godparents … grrrr … one of my pet peeves. As a convert, my sponsors were well-meaning folk, but they had no intention of serving in any sort of catechetical role toward me. Thanks be to God for the plethora of orthodox sources of self-education in our day and age. As a parent a couple of years after my own reception into the Church, I wrestled with the godparent dilemma. I chose one neighbor and friend who I thought was an orthodox Catholic, and the only male practicing Catholic in our extended family (though he lived at quite a distance). Neither has ever lifted a finger to encourage my children in the Faith. In fact, after a couple of employment-related moves, the friend won’t even return my calls or letters. The male practicing Catholic later joined Call to Action. Sheesh. I feel so very very alone.

By: Amy Caroline

Amy Caroline — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:56:00 +0000

I would choose the aunts. My children’s godparents are older as well, because I knew they would take the honor seriously. Many people don’t really have any concept of just what an important role this is. In my husband’s family (they are Portuguese) he calls his aunt and uncle god mother and god father, as it is a higher honor.

Just so you know, we didn’t know any young Catholic males when we got married and my husband had to have his father as his best man! So no one should think it odd to pick your aunts. It would be btter to pick them then someone who may not even be in your life in the years to come.

By: Ersza

Ersza — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 02:48:00 +0000

I had assumed Jen was unbaptized. I was in exactly the same position–baptized but uncatechized. We did end up waiting until Easter so that my son could be baptized at the same time that I was confirmed, and it was fine. This is really up to Jen and her pastor. I am just throwing it out there as a very nice option, which, contrary to the discussion here is in no way against Catholic law, tradition, or teaching. Elsewise, I and some 40 others wouldn’t have been allowed by our pastor and our bishop to celebrate the sacraments thuswise.

By: Jennifer F.

Jennifer F. — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 01:34:00 +0000

Just a quick comment to clear up that yes, I was baptized in the Catholic Church. My husband is baptised but in the Baptist church.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 21:01:00 +0000

I’ll just have to agree to disagree, Ersza. Some good friends of mine woke last month to find their 2 yr old dead (still unknown cause). Thankfully she was baptized and had the most beautiful Catholic funeral. That’s obviously not the norm, but you just never know.

I understand that Jen isn’t a fully-initiated Catholic yet, but I don’t think that matters as regards her children’s baptisms. I do agree that the Easter Vigil is a beautiful mass and children can probably make it through. I also think it’s nice for extended families to be able to attend if possible, but of course isn’t necessary. I would encourage Jen to find out what options her parish offers for these different sacraments. It’ll be an exciting time regardless!

~Blair

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 20:47:00 +0000

I agree, Steve, that “the first few weeks” leaves a bit of latitude. Personally I wouldn’t wait 9 months so the children could be baptized at the Easter Vigil. I can name several young children/babies I know who’ve passed away recently and weren’t ill. Although I trust in God’s abundant mercy, I’d still be so saddened if I had waited on this sacrament for my own child (and then they couldn’t even receive a Catholic funeral, right?).

I’ve heard of priests also celebrating an initiation, marriage validation, and children’s baptisms privately for families who are coming into full communion together. I’m just an impatient person, though, and wouldn’t want to wait long for any of those sacramental graces, especially baptism!

~Blair, grace-hog

By: Ersza

Ersza — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 20:40:00 +0000

Probably this will depend on what the practices are at Jen’s parish. If the option of having the whole family brought into the church at once at the Easter vigil is offered, I highly recommend it. The vigil is usually 3+ hours at our church, and people manage it with little ones just fine. You see babies and toddlers crashing on pews by the end. Some folks bring grandparents or caregivers. This is a BIG DEAL. People go out of their way to make it work, and I really think it is worth it. I had my son baptized at the same time I was confirmed and it was just lovely. We attend the vigil every year, and yes it is a challenge with a child, but so worth it.

As to the quote on canon law, this is a bit of a different situation, as Jen is not initiated into the church yet. If she is not baptized, it is a bit strange for the children to be baptized while the parents remain unbaptized. From that point of view, I think it is more doctrinally correct for the whole family to receive the sacrament of baptism at once. If Jen was baptized Catholic, then it is probably more of an optional thing, she can choose the way that she would prefer to do it. Remember a lot of these practices came about at a time when infant mortality was extremely high, so it made sense to rush to baptism. Now, mortality is lower, and although we can’t assume a newborn will survive, it’s not so hard to figure out which ones need baptism immediately, and which can wait for grandma and grandpa and everyone to make the trip to town to see her dressed up in her pretty things.