Discussions to watch

There are some great exchanges of ideas going on in the comments to the past three posts: on how God revealed himself to humans (and whether or not that makes sense); on a variety of questions of belief vs. atheism (don't miss Mike J's question -- I think he's come to the right place); and on big families and happiness.

Have I ever mentioned how thrilled I am with the commentors on this site? You are all fantastic. Thank you.

Moral relativism at its finest

Last night I was searching around for good forum software to use for my other site. I'm considering Google Groups but wanted to see it in action to make sure it fits my needs. So I went to one of the big parenting forums and just picked the first link I came across and clicked on it. To my great surprise, I stumbled across an exchange that perfectly encapsulates what is wrong with our society. Behold:

A parent writes in for advice on the following scenario [I've edited the language to prevent unwanted Google traffic, and for those of you reading at work, on a family computer, or who don't want your eyes to catch on fire]:

I have a 10 1/2 year old boy who is getting obcessed with s-x DVDs. I have no idea where he is getting them, but I have found 2 in his room within the last 6 mos. I am not sure how to handle this at all.

He spends a lot of time in his room...I was thinking he was experimenting with m-----bation...I know its probably normal for him to experiment with m-----bation...but what about adult s-x DVD's? What do I say to him...how do I stop this? I want him to have a healthy normal understanding of s-x....but at 10 1/2 years old?

The first time I found him with the other s-x dvd, I asked him where he got it and tried to explain that s-x is between married grown-ups (trying to make him understand that s-x is not a casual thing). He gave me a lame story about getting it at a friends house. I also tried to explain that s-x is not like those videos, those videos are somewhat preverted...and those types of videos are NOT for children. Now I have found another one...I am worried that he has a unnatural fixation with those videos.

HELP? PLEASE?

Wow, sounds like she has a problem on her hands. Here's an excerpt of the advice she gets:

I'd advise keeping an open mind, and also keeping in mind that he is developing into his own person, with his own identity, which might not align exactly with what you would like.

> The first time I found him with the other sex dvd, I asked him where he got
> it [...] He gave me a lame story about getting it at a friends house.

Extremely normal, and almost trivially expected - take it as a demonstration of reality. There is absolutely NO WAY you will ever be able to control this aspect of his life/choices/personality. If he wants to view s-xually explicit material, he will - period. If you want him to be honest about how he gets access, the only way to achieve that is to make him feel comfortable in telling you, which implies acceptance of the activity on your part. Basically, if you're not going to approve, he will have every motivation to hide as much as he can from you...

It is impossible for a boy to have an "unnatural" fixation about s-x - for adolescent boys, s-x is OVERWHELMINGLY COMPULSORY! There is NO other priority whatsoever. It is abnormal if an adolescent boy is NOT completely preoccupied with sex. Videos are the next-best-thing to the real thing, so the appeal is obvious. The only thing you should be concerned about is that your son possibly shows signs of defiance...

I would suggest that you NOT think about it in terms of "stopping it". You can't, and even if you could, it would be pointless and even harmful. Your son's m-----bation is literally your best friend in this - its healthy, normal, makes him happy, and provides satisfaction/ relief without having to actually have risky s-x. In a way, the videos aid in this regard by increasing the effectiveness/satisfaction of the m-----bation. If you make sure that he is comfortable with the fact that you know and understand (most likely this will require approval on your part), you might have a shot at having your words and feelings about the issue heard by him...

Here's an idea: go and find some very s-xually explicit videos that you think reflect the respect and beauty of loving sex (make sure they are still explicit enough to satisfy his sexual desires), and provide them to him as a replacement, requesting that he stick with them.

So at this point I'm thinking that the original poster is going to write in and ask the advice-giver to please never use the internet again. But instead, she thanks him:

Thank you for all the great advice...I guess maybe I just needed to hear that it is normal...and to learn to deal with it...

And here's his "aww, shucks, glad I could help" reply:

No problem - hopefully my advice will deserve your appreciation - I hope things go well for you :) To me, its always a great help to hear how other people see things. Also, keep in mind that "normal" isn't always correct or healthy - sometimes "normal" is actually undesirable, because there are some problems that are "epidemic" amongst typical people.

You can see this collection of timeless wisdom for yourself here. It seems to me like any intellectually honest person would say that their gut tells them a 10-year-old child constantly watching sexually explicit videos is a "bad thing". Objectively. Not in some cases, not depending on your values or beliefs, it's just not good. Ever. But, alas, we can't admit to objective right and wrong, especially in matters of sex, so we have people giving advice like "you need to buy your son some better porn." Greeeeeeat.

Atheists' takes on the Christian story

Though I've come along way on the spiritual front, sometimes when I think of the Christian story of how God revealed himself to man I still have the old pang of, "Oh, come on, it seems really unlikely that the Creator of heaven and earth would go this route. This sounds like something humans made up."

I have come to the conclusion that it is true and that the Creator indeed did go that route (for brevity's sake I'll save my rationale for another day), but I still like to test my beliefs and ask myself the tough questions to better understand this new religion of mine.

For the past few weeks I've been trying to come up with a different way that God could have revealed himself that would make his presence more obvious and allow for more efficient dissemination of his message. I'm a fairly creative thinker, and I was not able to come up with any ideas that worked when held up against what the Catholic Church says we know about God.

So I sent the following question to Hemant at The Friendly Atheist:

I have a question that I'd love for you to pose to your readers. I think your audience would be the perfect crowd to help me on this. I'm trying to think through some of my newfound beliefs and am pondering some of the "hows" and "whys" behind the Christian story of how God revealed himself to man. Sometimes I think it makes a lot of sense, other times it seems implausible.

So...if you have any interest, I would love for you to ask your readers this question: pretend that you're God for a minute. You created everything in the universe, including humans. You love humans, you want them to know you and your guidelines for how they should live, and you also want them to have free will. Given these parameters, how do you go about revealing yourself and your plan to them?

It would be interesting to me to see what you and your readers come up with.

He was kind enough to oblige and posed my question to his readers. I've only had time to glance through the responses but saw a couple of interesting ones that are good food for thought. Will write more on this later when I'm not typing with one hand while holding a baby.

In the meantime, go check out the responses. Any thoughts?

Good questions from an atheist

===UPDATE===: Moving this post up to the top because I find the discussion about atheism and free will interesting.

I've been particularly enjoying reading the thoughts of one of my new regular commentors, the anonymous Catholic-turned-atheist. It's interesting to hear his perspective since he's familiar with Catholic teaching, and, frankly, his calm, civil tone is really refreshing. It's so nice (and rare) to be able to have a friendly debate with someone who has an entirely different worldview.

He recently left this comment to a previous post, and I thought it was interesting enough to warrant its own post. (I took the liberty of numbering his points since I've found that that makes it easier when discussing involved subjects like this in writing.)

(1) One poster, M_David, expressed my thoughts exactly when he wrote, "He's God! So, we can forget that God lacks the ability to prove himself to us. We have only two options: God doesn't exist, or God meant to leave us guessing." I wholeheartedly agree. I choose, with great sadness, the first option. The second option doesn’t make sense, especially for a Christian. God loves us so much that He becomes man so that He can suffer an excruciating and humiliating death stripped naked on the Cross to atone for our sins. And then He leaves us guessing about who He is and what He did?

(2) When Thomas was told by the other apostles that Jesus rose from the dead he refused to believe them. And Thomas knew these guys!!! He knew them and he knew Jesus and he refused to believe their story. So Jesus appears before Thomas and now Thomas believes because Thomas has proof. Thomas didn’t believe because he had faith. Thomas believed because he had proof. Just as the other apostles had proof. They didn’t have faith. They had proof. If Thomas didn’t believe the eyewitness accounts of his fellow apostles how can I be expected to believe hearsay that is a million times and 2000 years removed from its source?

(3) Surely it is within God’s power to provide me with whatever evidence is necessary to permanently convince me that He exists and that the Biblical accounts are true. How would this take away my free will? Adam walked with God and Adam had free will.

(4) As to the broader claim that the world around us provides us with evidence of the existence of God, I must strongly disagree. The world is 4 1/2 billion years old, not 6000 years old as the Bible led us to believe. The sky is an infinite expanse, not a solid dome to which the sun, moon, and stars are attached. Rain is caused by the condensation of water that evaporates from surface water here on earth. It is not caused by God opening up windows in the solid-domed sky so that water held above the solid-domed sky can fall to the earth. The earth revolves around the sun, not the sun around the earth.

(5) To those who claim that the Bible was misinterpreted I ask, "Was God incapable of writing a Bible that would be properly interpreted?"

(6) To those who claim that that God wrote the Bible in such a way that it could be understood by men who lived in ancient times I ask, "Was God incapable of writing a Bible that would ring true for all time?"

(7) The "mystery" of why God does not prove His existence to us is no mystery at all if we just accept the most obvious answer: There is no God.

Again, thanks to Anon for bringing up these points. Interesting stuff. Anyone have any thoughts?

Full of life

My husband and I had our first real experience of socializing Catholic style this weekend when we met up with Mr. and Mrs. Darwin at the DarwinCatholic world headquarters for dinner. We had fascinating conversations about the benefits of getting a classical education, the pursuit of truth, Church history, the latest news in the Wall Street Journal, and tons of other topics over homemade pizza and a bottle of good wine. Their little girls ran in and out of the room, occasionally jumping up to see who could sit on my lap first or to tell me breathlessly about some exciting project they did with their mom recently. The house is painted with beautiful, bold colors, the bookshelves filled with scholarly books, and the air filled with happy screams and giggles. My husband and I were trying to describe the atmosphere on the way home and all we could come up with is that it was so wonderfully...full of life.

At one point during dinner we remarked that, both of us being only children, this was a very different experience for us. Our dinners growing up were mostly silent, with the occasional question like "How was your day?" heard over the quiet clinking of forks on plates.

As soon as she heard this a look of genuine pity crossed Mrs. Darwin's face and she said, "That's so sad!" I realized when she said that just how much I agree. Which is not to say that during my childhood our quiet, three-person household struck me as lacking anything; it only seems kind of sad and vacant in retrospect now that I see the alternative, the households like that of the Darwins and other Catholic families I've met that are practically exploding with warmth and life.

I suppose it's necessary to throw out the disclaimer that I'm not proposing that all big families are happy and warm, that it always works out as well as it's seemed to for the Darwins and the other Catholic families I now know. I only write this post to say that, having experienced it both ways, I literally shutter to think that just a few years ago I was certain I wanted just one child -- if I had kids at all. And, once again, giving Church teaching the benefit of the doubt has really paid off. I always bristled at their "oppressive" ideas about contraception and openness to life, especially the horrible burden it supposedly put on women. But, yet again, I find myself thanking God that I opened my mind to the beauty and wisdom of Catholic teaching.

Having a family in Europe

My husband sent an article to our English friend that proposed that the declining birthrates in Europe were due to "anti-natalism". I thought his reply was interesting, and somewhat depressing.

Hmm, interesting. But maybe the problem is slightly different here, because we're all rather poorer than our American cousins.

If, for example, a young couple gets married, and borrow money from the bank to buy their first home, a one bedroomed apartment, which'll cost them perhaps £200k, the bank uses 'the multiplier'.

Which varies, but essentially it means they take their combined salaries, and multiply by perhaps four. So, if a couple of bright graduates earn, say, £15k pa each (of which maybe they take home £8k pa each) which is a typical graduate's starting salary, that makes £120,000 which is the maximum they can borrow. So they put £80,000 down as a deposit (maybe cadged from their parents) and pay around £1000 a month repayments, maybe three quarters of their joint nett income.

But then the young wife falls pregnant, she can't work, and they're down to one income, and fall behind with payments. They default on the loan, the house is repossessed and sold off at auction by the bank for maybe half its market value. The bank doesn't care because they have insurance to cover the difference (premiums paid by borrowers, who don't see the benefit) and the bank just wants a super fast resolution. The bank wins again, and the borrowers still have to make up the shortfall, plus costs. So maybe now they owe the bank £100k plus their arrears, and their parents the £80,000 deposit. This on top of their government student loans, which'll be £50k.

I waited 'til I was old and reasonably financially secure before I thought about all that stuff. In fact, when I was younger, I made the definite decision not to have children. But, accidents sometimes happen, with the exuberance of youth, and youngsters find themselves in dire financial straits, through no fault of their own, other than inexperience and lack of planning.

There is hope is this sorry tale nowadays. If the price of their property goes up quickly enough, they just might come out even. But if there's a slump, like there was here around 1990 when prices dropped around 25%, then it's throw yourself off the bridge time, because you'll have the dreaded 'negative equity', and the bank's into you for life. You can never earn enough to pay off the interest. In the 90s people were just packing up, putting their house keys through the bank's letterbox, then going missing.

That's the real price of having children young. Devastating not just for the mother. And that's why the populations of all western European countries is going down fast, even in Catholic countries.

Children are OK for grey haired company directors, but not for youngsters. Best time to have children is when you're 75. But then you die, and the kids have to pick up your death taxes rather earlier.

It sounds like, financially, it would be practically impossible to have more than one or two kids in Europe unless you're rich. I'm not well-versed on this issue though. Anyone have any thoughts?

Book recommendation?

I know quite a few people who are cradle Catholics who have completely fallen away from the faith. This type of person usually has vaguely positive feelings toward the Church, maybe a few issues with so-called "Catholic guilt," but isn't anti-Catholic or an atheist so much as just apathetic about religion in general. God and his rules would just cramp their style.

What are some good books to recommend to this type of person? I'm looking for something that's addressed specifically towards Catholics and is a pretty light read (this crowd doesn't care enough to wade through Orthodoxy).

Any ideas?

Saying grace

Needless to say, I am not in the habit of thanking God for my meals before I eat. (I remember the first time I encountered this concept as a child, when I was at a friend's house for dinner. The mother asked me to say grace. Everyone was staring at me. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't think of a good way to fake my own death to get out of it so I just literally said, "Grace?" They thought I was mocking them. Train wreck.) Anyhoo...

I've found it difficult to get into the habit of saying a prayer before meals. This is one Christian cultural tradition that doesn't totally resonate with me, which is surprising since it seems to resonate with everyone else. Of course I am grateful for the incredible abundance of food in our society. And I know that I need food in order to live; but I also need water and shelter. I don't feel any more or less compelled to pray before eating than before drinking water, walking into my house, etc.

I am definitely missing something here, I just can't put my finger on what it is. Why is it so firmly embedded in Christian culture to pray before eating but not before receiving other life-sustaining gifts?

The World's Toughest Catholic Quiz

My aunt just sent me "The World's Toughest Catholic Quiz." I got seven wrong. Looks like I need to do a bit more reading. :)

"God, I would believe in you if..."

I've been thinking a lot about a discussion that resulted from a post I wrote last month. A very brief summary is this:

I asked: "I don't understand how Jesus' death has to do with me since it wasn't my sacrifice to give. What's my 'action item' here?"

A Catholic-turned-atheist responded: "Your action item is to attend Mass -- which is like being at the Crucifixion -- and receive the Perfect Lamb sacrificed to God the Father for our sins." But he added that he is no longer a believer, in part because of questions like, "If Jesus loved us enough to suffer and die for us then why didn't He love us enough to stick around and tell us about it? Why would He zip up to heaven after only 40 days?"

Ersza responded: "Why doesn't Jesus go door to door? Because no matter how much proof we had, how many miracles, people will refuse to believe....Miracles are only a temporary proof, and fade away. What happens if you have a miracle today. Will you believe today? How about tomorrow? Do you need another miracle tomorrow? And the day after? No, that's not how it works...If we base our faith on miracles and 'proof' then we have to believe he only loves the ones who get the 'proof' or we have to demand, like spoiled children, that each of us get the exact same amount of 'proof'." [This is an excerpt. I really encourage you to go read her whole answer, which is excellent.]

I've been thinking about the points that were brought up here quite a bit. My first thought when I read Anon's question was that it's a mystery. We don't always understand the mind of the Creator. But, the more I thought about it, I realized that most of the "If God exists why doesn't he do XYZ to prove it?" type questions are really not that much of a mystery. In every example I could think of, once I thought through it, it was clear why God did not do that.

Using myself from a few years ago as a test, I tried to think of what God could do to prove his existence to Old Jen. I realized that the only thing that would have cut it is if, say, on demand I could ask for something amazing. If, for example, I had said, "God, I'll believe in you if I float up into the clouds right now!" and I had actually started levitating, it's safe to say I would have believed. (For a couple years until I started second-guessing my memory, anyway.)

The other thing that would have been good is if I could have asked him to reveal to me some sort of knowledge that only God would know, like perhaps explaining some of the mysteries behind quantum physics.

But if God did this, if he indulged our requests that he act like a birthday party magician and do tricks for us on demand, each individual would have the powers and knowledge of God, accessible by the magic words, "God, I would believe in you if..."

After the whole floating in the clouds experience faded from my mind and I wrote it off as a sleep deprivation induced delusion, like Ersza predicts, I would start doubting again and demand something else. After I told myself that my subconscious just came up with those great insights on wave-particle duality because I'm a genius, I'd demand more knowledge to quench my doubts. I'd become like some supervillian from a sci-fi movie, wreaking havoc on the world as I grew more knowledgeable and powerful by controlling God with my doubts. I'd become more and more like God, but without the all-good nature.

Needless to say, this wouldn't work. If God's policy were to do whatever it takes to prove himself to each individual, he'd essentially become a slave to humans, moving heaven and earth depending on our whims.

And since he can't go this route and become the tool of humans given his supreme and all-good nature, he has to draw the line somewhere. If he wants us to know him he would reveal just enough evidence and then step back and let us do what we will. And the more I look around the more I think that the evidence is all around us. It might not be exactly what I would choose, but it is enough.

The power of the rosary

Something strange has been going on over here lately. So many good things have been coming at me so fast that it's hard to keep up with it all. Doors are opening, things are falling into place, I'm meeting wonderful new people, having a positive impact on people in my parish, etc.

As I was driving home from RCIA last night I was thinking about this and realized that it all came about rather suddenly. It was like some sort of grace explosion happened a couple weeks ago and I've been riding the shockwave ever since. I thought for a moment if there was anything I'd been doing differently and gasped a little bit when I realized: I started praying the rosary every night about two weeks ago.

I'd heard enough people I respect extol the power of the rosary (Fr. John Corapi is extremely insistent about this) so I'd wanted to try it, but always found an excuse not to make it happen. Also, I was just sure that there's no way I'd be able to concentrate long enough to get through it.

Then, a friend invited me to pray the rosary with her family, and for the first time I sat down and said the whole thing, the right way. Shortly after that Tony of Catholic Pillow Fight was so incredibly kind as to send me a rosary (I've been meaning to publicly thank him for that for a while -- what a wonderful thing to do).

Even after that I kept putting it off and putting it off, until finally I decided to make it part of my nightly routine. To be honest I didn't expect to get anything out of it. Per our discussion about faith and feeling, I was only doing it because it seemed relaxing and it felt like something I should do. I didn't expect to see results or feel big emotions. I'm just trying to teach myself to be obedient to what God would want me to do, even if I'm experiencing doubts (when do I not?). I'm taking the advice I got on this site to think of faith as a verb instead of an emotion.

So imagine my surprise when my life has just been clicking on a whole new level ever since I started doing this. The only thing I can liken it to is some sort of drug. I feel fairly certain that I'm not just seeing what I want to see since I expected nothing at all. It was only after remarking on the striking, distinct changes I've seen that I began to think about what might have caused it.

Anyway, I need to get to bed. All this rambling is just to say I am now convinced of the power of the rosary. All I can say is: WOW.

What music most inspires you?

[I had to temporarily take down the last post because of frustrating Blogger formatting issues that were about to steal my sanity. I hope to repost it later as I have time to deal with it. On to a less frustrating subject... :)]

I was thinking the other day what a powerful effect music has on me. Some of the moments that I've felt closest to God and most certain of his existence have been when I'm listening to music.

I was thinking about this as I was listening to my iPod the other day, and I realized that most of the songs I have on there have to go. I acquired most of them between 2000 and 2004, and they remind me strongly of times past. In particular, when I hear some of the ones I used to listen to when I felt depressed I'm painfully reminded of what it feels like to live life "knowing" that there is no God, that life is ultimately meaningless.

So, I'd like to put a whole bunch of new songs on my iPod, and I ask you, wonderful readers: what artists and/or songs most inspire you? What music make you feel close to God? I want everything from Gregorian chant to classical to rap to country. Whatever. I admit I am not a fan of Christian pop/rock but if you say it's great I'll probably check it out.

I'm hoping to get specific song suggestions when possible (rather than just good genres) so that I can just look it up on iTunes and download away.

Thank God for priests

The discussion in one of my previous posts reminded me of something I've wanted to mention for a while:

I cannot describe how much I appreciate our priests. Every time I see a Catholic priest I'm filled with a sense of hope and closeness to God. The concept of devoting one's life to God, being open to that call and heeding it when it comes, forgoing marriage, kids and being in control of your own life, all for the sake of God, is so inspiring to me.

These guys don't hedge their bets. They're betting it all that God exists. Unlike most of the rest of us, if the Catholic Church has it wrong and God as they describe him does not exist, then they've sacrificed pretty much everything for nothing. Even though I'm sure many priests experience periods of doubt, they're still living their entire lives for their faith.

This has always been stunning to me. I was pretty sheltered from Christian thought growing up so I didn't realize until I was older than priests really couldn't get married and really did live their whole lives for the Church. I was shocked. As a person completely immersed in secular society, I just couldn't figure out what was going on. It was almost like...they really believed.

In all the years I spent badmouthing Christians, I would always shut up when the topic of Catholic priests came up. Even as an atheist, I admired their faith. It was like nothing I'd seen in the rest of society. I was intrigued and impressed.

I remember a few years ago, before my spiritual journey had really begun but when my heart had softened from loathing Christians to just having a vague dislike for them, I was having lunch by myself at a restaurant. It was a beautiful day and I was sitting out on a large tree-covered patio. I'd brought a magazine to look through but found myself annoyed with all the garbage in it. It was full of cynical diatribes, scantily clad women, glitzy ads for overpriced crap that nobody needed. I wondered how our society had spiraled this far down the toilet as I set it aside. I thought to myself that more and more it seemed to me that something is very wrong with our world and I didn't like what I saw. I felt a vague aloneness, not just in the restaurant but in the world.

Just then I looked up to see a priest, also sitting by himself, at a table near me. As I looked at him, a strong feeling came over me to go talk to him. I wanted so much to run over to his table, pull up a chair and ask him why on earth he was devoting his life to this God business, what had convinced him? What made his faith so strong? If God is so obvious to an intelligent-looking man like himself, why can I not see him?

But, fearing looking foolish and possibly offending him, I remained in my seat. As I returned to my lunch tears stung my eyes a little bit as I thought, "Thank God for priests."

You never know who's reading

[UPDATED, see below]

The snippy back and forth that's been going on between Mark Shea and Tom McKenna bums me out. I can't recap the situation since I've only glanced at those posts lest I get a headache, but it seems that Shea is more politically liberal and McKenna is more conservative so they disagree about a lot of the hot topics of today (torture and Saddam's execution to name a couple). This post by Shea and this one by McKenna are two examples.

I know it's really not that big of a deal, but it's something I'm sensitive to because of my own conversion process. Back when I had first opened my mind to the idea of Christianity but hadn't made much progress other than not outright loathing all things Christian anymore, I came across a really contentious discussion between Christians and atheists on some blog. I was about to move on since it was the same old debate about God's existence that we've all heard a zillion times before, but just as I was about to click away something caught my attention.

The thread had degenerated into personal attacks and general nastiness, with the striking exception of three people. Three of the commentors in the debate maintained a calm, charitable tone despite the fact that every response they gave was met with hostility and ad hominem attacks. They made their points firmly but with grace and kindness and even a bit of light humor sometimes. Even at a glance their writing stood out. You could have covered up the names of the commentors and still easily picked out the posts by these three individuals.

I just didn't know what to make of this. I was intrigued. Had these guys been smoking something that they could be so calm in such a contentious debate? The way they presented their arguments was so reasonable and refreshing that I took a moment to actually read them. I saw that they were in the pro-Christian camp, and it hit me that this is that whole "love your neighbor" and "be kind to others" thing that Christians were supposed to do. I hadn't seen a lot of that in practice in my life and couldn't help but feel inspired to watch it in action. In most cases it seemed that these guys were probably better-educated and smarter than most of their attackers; yet they had the humility, restraint and generosity to keep the can of intellectual whoop-ass closed throughout the conversation.

For the first time, I opened my eyes to the good side of Christianity. I'd spent so much of my life fixating on every Christian hypocrite out there that I'd never bothered to notice that there were a lot of truly Christ-like people too. And as I lurked silently as the debate progressed I thought, "Man, when this works, it works." These Christians had something going on that the others didn't. [I didn't notice this at the time but I later realized that at least two of them were Catholic.]

After reading through that debate that day I started to notice other good Christians, and good things about Christianity. My journey began to pick up steam.

As for the Shea/McKenna debate, it's not so much that I think they did anything wrong or anything I wouldn't do (Lord knows both of them have more Holy Spirit goin' on in their little fingers than I do in my whole body on a good day), but that they missed a chance to go above and beyond. A lot of us brand new converts look up to people like them, and their sites are high-profile enough that I'm sure plenty of atheists and agnostics check in now and then. I doubt anyone was particularly bothered or had their opinion changed about Church teaching either way based on those posts. But if, however, one or both of them had gone the very difficult route of responding with kindness and humility to the posts that criticized them, it might have woken some people up and made them rethink some of their ideas about Catholics and Christians.

=============

UPDATE: Just came across this post by an anonymous troll on McKenna's blog: "I love seeing you fools at one another's throats. None of you has any influence outside a relative handful of busybodies and crackpots...it's going to be great watching you bigots and sycophants implode."

I know very little about the Church compared to many Catholics. But I do know this: as someone who spent her whole life outside (waaaay outside) the Church, I see very clearly how much we're all in this together. Despite their differences, Shea and McKenna have one big thing in common: they are hated by a lot of people because they are Catholic. Many, many other people like Anon are out there who hate the Church and its people and couldn't care less about differing views on Vatican politics so long as we all fail.

Priests as businessmen

My husband the MBA has a question for y'all:

Do priests get any sort of finance/management training in seminary? We were marveling at the amazing scope of responsibility that our priest has as pastor of a 3,000+ family church. And being a Bishop is like running a Fortune 500 company.

Do they get any kind of training on managing employees, how to use Quickbooks and look at financial statements, etc.?

I didn't think I could be any more impressed with parish priests, but the more I think about the sheer day-to-day business and financial management challenges they face the more blown away I am.

It's a small internet

How crazy is this...

As you know from the number of times I've linked to or mentioned the site, I am a huge fan of DarwinCatholic. The posts I've read on their site frequently come up in conversations with my husband, and we've had many long conversations about the great topics they bring up.

So imagine my surprise when Mrs. Darwin mentioned that she's in my metropolitan area. And imagine my jaw dropping when I learned that she lives only a few miles away from me and we have two friends in common.

We met for tea on Wednesday, and get this: she was able to be as interesting and intelligent as she is on her blog while we sat it a tea parlor (full of tons of very delicate tea sets within easy reach of little hands) with her three young children. The baby smiled and cooed while the two older children politely amused themselves while we chatted. I kept expecting confetti to drop from the roof and the Mother of the Year awards team to come in and hand her her lifetime achievement award.

I assume that everyone who reads this site also reads DarwinCatholic but if there's anyone out there who doesn't, go check it out now. Really great stuff.

Picture of the day

From my dad in Abu Dhabi. See what the big American movie is over there? Not surprising.