Comments on: You first

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 01:14:25 +0000

Shree Ramakrishna, the great Indian saint, said that if a human being thirsts for God for 24 hours the way he/she misses the love of those dearest to him, that human being will have an experience/vision of God. This has been my experience. After years of yearning for God, one day I suddenly cried and begged for His presence like I would someone I loved dearly. I asked Him to send me a path; within the next week, He did, and my life has not been the same since.

By: Aelinn

Aelinn — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:16:00 +0000

Thank you for pointing this post out to me; it does help!

By: yofed

yofed — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:01:00 +0000

Exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you so much!

By: Sarahndipity

Sarahndipity — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 18:47:00 +0000

Thanks Jen, it’s nice to know someone else is going through the same things I am. I have a 3-year-old so I completely understand how mass is with small children. Recently we’ve been leaving her with the in-laws during mass and exchanging her in the parking lot after mass (they sing in the choir at a later mass). That helps a lot. Jeron, I’ve also been trying to go to mass one day a week aside from Sunday, just b/c I feel like it’s something I should do to get myself out of this spiritual dryness. It sure is comforting knowing that others go through the same things.

By: Jeron

Jeron — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 17:52:00 +0000

Jen, thank you for writing this post. And I got a lot out of your conversation w/*sarahndipity,* too. I so often question if I really have faith b/c I’m not “on fire” like I see others (at least they claim they’re on fire). As an aside, I’ve made it to Mass each day this week so far which is HUGE. Not out of some obligation. Or bet. But because I’ve been sensing the need to do so, and have finally taken the steps to “just go!” I guess that’s my way of dusting off my mirror.

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:17:00 +0000

A great post, I really know where you’re coming from. I went through something quite similiar in my faith journey as well. When I first converted it was very much an intellectual conversion and there was not that much real change in my life or my perspective. I had somewhat of a crisis of faith and started to doubt this intellectual conversion… then I read some more and thought some more and realized that there had to be more than just intellectual assent. I started to pray every day, and sometimes more often for God to open my heart and show me his way. Day after day after day and then one day – like you describe – I suddenly realized I had faith. Deep down, deeply rooted faith and belief in God that wasn’t just a matter of intellectual conviction. I can look back on that time now and I realize how much I changed during that period, and it was all rooted in wanting to give up my sins and selfishness and to accept and feel God’s love. I finally wanted my heart to be opened, I wanted to change to know God on his terms, not mine. Not that I’m perfect by any means – and I still pray this prayer as part of my morning prayer – but at least I know I am on the right path and I know God is present in my life.

By: Jennifer F.

Jennifer F. — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:16:00 +0000

Sarahndipity -

It sounds like what you consider being spiritually dry is what I’d consider having great faith. You see, back before I “dusted off the mirror”, meaning attempting to live in a Catholic Christian way, I really, on a gut level, had serious doubts about God’s existence. When I say that I “feel” God’s presence, I just mean that I’m finally where you are now — I don’t think I’ll ever seriously questions whether or not he exists again. For me, that’s a HUGE change. All my life I was absolutely certain that God did not exist.

If I’m on fire for God, it’s not so much because I have big emotions or feel like I “know” Jesus really well or have had powerful religious experiences (in fact Mass is usually one of my more frustrating times of the week with a baby and a toddler in tow), but because I know how what it’s like to live life without God. Even being fairly spiritually dry but knowing that God exists is ecstasy compared to atheism.

So, sorry for rambling, but all that is to say that we’re probably in a very similar place in our faith. You were just waaaay ahead of me.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 14:31:00 +0000

Gorgeous, Jen! I’m going to e-mail this to my little brother. The thick layer of dust he has allowed to gather on his mirror has caused him to doubt. His wife is expecting their second in seven or eight months, and I’m praying that God will get a hold of him before then.

By: Sarahndipity

Sarahndipity — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 14:09:00 +0000

Wow, this is a great post and just what I needed to hear. I’m a “cradle Catholic” but I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I’m going through a spiritual dry spell right now. In fact, in some ways I think I’ve always been spiritually dry. It’s weird because on the one hand I can honestly say I’ve never doubted God’s existence or doubted that the Catholic Church is the One True Church. Sure, I’ve had fleeting “what-if” moments, but no serious doubts. (And I think my faith is totally a gift from God btw – it’s not b/c of anything I did.)

At the same time, though, aside from a handful of very rare occasions, I can’t say I “feel” God’s presence. When people say things like they’re “on fire” for God, I have no idea what they mean. I’ve been to mass almost every Sunday of my life but to be honest it’s kind of boring. (Although sometimes the homily is interesting.) I try to get to confession often but I have trouble feeling sorry for my sins, even though I know intellectually that they’re wrong. Most of the things I do as a Catholic (like not using birth control, trying not to have impure thoughts, going to mass, saying the rosary, etc.) I do more out of obligation and fear of hell than out of love of God. I don’t know how to change this. I can control my actions but I can’t control my feelings.

I think I’m guilty of the same thing you are – telling God “you first.” Can you be more specific about how you “dusted off the mirror?” Thanks!

By: John Seymour

John Seymour — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:57:00 +0000

Et Tu?

Wonderful post. Thank you.