I think God’s trying to tell me to call the exterminator
There’s been a battle raging the past few days between my laziness and my fear of scorpions: I really don’t feel like dealing with an exterminator visit again…yet my attempts to just forget about the fact that there is a vengeful scorpion lurking somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom or bathroom have not been successful.
And then I hear this gem as part of the readings at Mass last night: “Behold, I have given you the power to ‘tread upon serpents’ and scorpions.”
Since my attempts to tread upon scorpions have been wildly unsuccessful, I will take this to mean that God is telling me to get the exterminator back here.
Also, nice to know that my house is infested with creatures so awful that God calls them out by name in his sacred text. I’ll have to remember this when one-upping friends with roaches: “Oh, yeah? I guess I was just thinking that scorpions are worse seeing as how they are specifically MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE and all. For all we know God likes roaches! We can be assured by Scripture, however, that he is anti-scorpion.”