Actually, I’m Catholic but I certainly don’t mind when people with different beliefs tell me what they believe. In fact, I love to discuss “deep stuff” with people, especially with those who disagree with me. Unfortunately, it seems like most people are uncomfortable talking about this kind of stuff. So I have to talk about it online. I don’t see any reason why people with different beliefs can’t discuss their disagreements civilly.

I agree with whoever said that it doesn’t make any sense to hide something that’s as important to you as religion. My religion is such a huge part of who I am. I can’t hide that. At the same time, I think we have to learn to confidently talk about what we believe while being respectful of other people’s beliefs.

I remember when I was in high school I had a friend who used to be Catholic who became a born-again Christian, and he was constantly pressuring me and another Catholic friend to come to his church, telling us we were going to hell, etc. It was a HUGE turnoff. If I were an atheist and the only Christians I met were Christians like that, I would never become Christian. I do think that generally speaking, evangelical Protestants tend to be much pushier than Catholics or mainline Protestants (though I’m sure pushy Catholics and mainline Protestants exist).

As a sort-of tangent, when I think of the people I’ve been close to in my life, with one major exception they have all been Catholic. The exception is another friend I’ve known since high school who has beliefs that are very, very different from mine – I suppose you could describe them as new age/pagan. But we were very close. He was very unusual in that he was very open about his beliefs and loved to talk about religion, the meaning of life, etc., but he was (usually) very respectful of Christians and those who had different beliefs.

It seems to me that 99% of people I meet, no matter what they believe, are either a) very uncomfortable talking about religion with people they disagree with or b) are willing to talk about it but when they do, get very hostile. I am certainly not opposed to being close to non-Catholics, but it seems like it almost never happens. They usually get uncomfortable when they find out what I believe and keep their distance. Maybe they think I’ll judge them or something, I don’t know. I wish there were more people like my aforementioned friend because I really do love to (respectfully) talk about religion and philosophical issues with people who come from a very different perspective.

I don’t want to stifle my children or give them the idea that religion is something shameful that must be hidden. I’d rather that they feel as comfortable talking about their beliefs as about the weather. They might be clumsy at it occasionally, who isn’t? But these conversations need to have a place in human interactions. Why is it that it’s so easy and acceptable to ‘demystify’ sex, and so unacceptable to openly discuss our deepest held beliefs?

Certainly I hope to teach my children that not everybody believes as they do, but that we have hope everybody will be saved. We don’t know the state or circumstances of anyone else’s soul, and so it would be a mistake to let our children think that they know who is or isn’t going to hell.

I’ll confirm that atheists definitely do their own form of evangelization. Teenagers especially want their peers to endorse their beliefs because they are new and because teenagers crave approval, even the ones trying really hard to be unconventional. It didn’t bother me when my friends engaged me in debate, even when I felt ganged up on. What bothered me was when I didn’t even have a chance to give my 2cents because they assumed that they knew already what I thought, because they thought my beliefs were the result of ‘brainwashing’ and ‘unthinking obedience’ and refused to acknowledge the soul-seeking I had done.

Maybe we all need to work harder to teach our children that even in disagreement, there can be respect.

I didn’t even understand the answer. What did it mean, “not Irish”? If he had said he was a Martian I would have had more of an idea what he was talking about.

Of course, 2 years earlier at another school, my best friend had been Japanese. In retrospect, he probably wasn’t Irish, either. And there were other people who weren’t Irish in my family…for instance, my father. But the subject just had never come up before.

Children take a lot of things for granted.

It’s interesting to think that Catholics and atheists share this experience!

It has always struck me, though, that the Catholics I knew were much less judgmental than the Protestants I knew–much less apt to make the above observations, especially when the observation was not solicited. So I might pose a counter-question: Is there a difference in the Catholic method or philosophy of evangelization? Or is it more of a laissez-faire thing among (some?) Catholics? (Admittedly, I have met more evangelical Catholics in the area where I am now living than I ever thought existed.)

If my kids grew up to be atheists, my biggest reaction would be surprise. I would want to have conversations with them and would be very curious to hear what thought process led them to come to that conclusion. After that, my reaction would depend on what it was that led them to that belief system.

And as for exposing them to other ways of thinking…most definitely! It’s probably just part of my personality (former anthropology major), but I’m fascinated with people, especially people who have totally different cultures or belief systems.

We have a lot of friends who are Hindu and Jain, so I can’t wait for my kids to learn more about that (I’m hoping to invite myself to some of their religious celebrations at some point). And, of course, since I have lots of family members and friends who are atheists, my kids will know all about that as well. I definitely wouldn’t shelter them from the concept that other people don’t believe in God…in fact, they’re probably going to get tired of hearing about how I didn’t used to believe in God either.

I think the real thing that was on my mind when I wrote this post was how to find that balance between evangelizing and not being pushy. Believe me – I could fill up this blog of stories of Christians telling me that I’m a bad person, I’m controlled by Satan, I’m going to hell, I’m not as good as other people, etc. from back when I was an atheist — so I’m certainly sensitive to how the subject is approached.

But, as Christians, we are called to evangelize. And it makes sense, right? I mean, let’s say for that sake of argument that we are right, that there really is a loving God who wants all men to know him: wouldn’t it be horrible to keep that to ourselves? Like Kate said, it would be like knowing the cure to cancer and not openly sharing it.

OK, long answer. I’ll shut up now.

Jennifer,

Like I said above, I never said I want them sheltered, but I don’t want them preached to either. I don’t want kids or adults telling them their parents are going to hell because we don’t believe or that we hate god. We can’t hate something we don’t believe exists. I don’t want them telling their friends either that what they believe is wrong. Again, my main point being is that unless it is brought up in conversation and questions are asked, then it doesn’t need to be talked about, just like if it was an adult conversation. Kids are cruel enough as it is, and that goes for any religion.

[Again, all of the above is a response from Aimee]