I’m expecting my first, due February 24th, and husband-man and I are thrilled. I have to admit though that reading these lovely posts from all these experienced mothers has freaked me out a little. I’m one of those researching types. My mother, who had 4 kids and we all turned out fine, has fielded a ton of questions from me. I’m not sold on all AP principles, but I do like a lot of them. So, I researched, just to see what’s out there. I have no delusions of knowing it all. However, I am in possession of a fair amount of common sense. Any advice or encouragement for the scholarly mother-to-be?

I read the term “Pregnancy Police” in a book recently and am starting to understand that they just graduate to “Parent Police” when the kids are actually born. The worst Pregnancy Police I’ve found so far have been men (in my own experience) because apparently they know all there is to know about how a pregnant woman has to take care of her body.

Then there’s my mother-in-law who (God bless that woman, at least we mostly get along) insists that she knows exactly what my son will be like and what problems I’ll have. At least my own mother just says that x, y, and z are possible but each kid is different.

Or the mistake I made on another blog where I mentioned I wasn’t going to (for various reasons) try to give birth med free, that I don’t do pain. I received some very insistent replies and emails that I should do all I could to try to go it “natural”. No reply when I mention that my husband’s family all has babies that average 10 lbs and 24 inches at birth and that I’m 5’5″ and can’t tolerate pain.

lol, guess I’ll step off my soapbox now.

On the DVD in the car thing…the major thing about those in-car DVD systems that bothers me is when it’s set up so the DRIVER can watch too. I have seen so many of those lately, it’s scary. I tend to give those drivers plenty of room.

Thank you so much. That examination of conscience sounds like a wonderful solution. Not only does it allow you to recognize areas of improvement, but it also allows you to let go of those things that are a waste of time to be worrying or feeling guilty about. Thank you!

I realised this ‘judgement’ of parenting styles exists within our home. Perhaps to a lesser extent than ignorant outsiders, but more crucial because I, among all people, should know and applaud my wife’s efforts not criticise them.

Might be time for me to write another mea culpa post.

One thing that I found helped me to get more comfortable with my parenting choices is doing the Ignatian examen of consciousness every day.

So maybe that sounds like a strange solution, but it has helped me. Every day (except those days I forget or am too lazy *rolling eyes*) I take the time to review my choices for the day, think about whether they were really the right choices, was I doing that out of selfishness, or was I doing it because I thought it was the best thing for everyone right then, is that something I want to be a policy, or should I make myself resist the urge to do it next time, etc.

Doing all this kind of self-examination on a regular basis helps me listen to my conscience, helps me hear God better, helps me get in touch with what I really care about.

I now have a better idea of the fact that there are some choices I *should* feel guilty about, but that they may or may not be the choices that others would condemn me for.

Soccer Dad said the girls ought to have one for long trips. I said no way, I didn’t have one and they should learn to play something else in the car. Soccer Dad said get one. I relented. My parents said we did so have something to do, and it’s called Simon and Merlin (remember those?). Then my parents said that if they had something like that when we were trekking from NJ to FL on vacations in the car, they would have been all over it!

I stopped thinking that parents who let the kids watch movies in the car are bad people.

Of course, the girls are bummed because the trip across town is not long enough in my book to warrent popping in the DVD. (Unless it’s Schoolhouse Rock. Shhh…don’t tell them it’s educational!)