Comments on: Motherhood, work and socializing http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html Sun, 12 Feb 2012 04:43:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Aimee http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-10259 Aimee Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:13:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-10259 I read this article two years ago:<br/><br/>http://www.mothering.com/articles/body_soul/inspiration/feed_soul_feed_kids.html<br/><br/>It really got me thinking about "finding my tribe" and working together and living life together...I was tired of superficial exhausting playdates. The key seems to be finding a friend who really desires this too...some friends are SO busy that they only seem to want the one hour playdate and don't really want to spend quality extended time sharing work together. I read this article two years ago:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/body_soul/inspiration/feed_soul_feed_kids.html

It really got me thinking about “finding my tribe” and working together and living life together…I was tired of superficial exhausting playdates. The key seems to be finding a friend who really desires this too…some friends are SO busy that they only seem to want the one hour playdate and don’t really want to spend quality extended time sharing work together.

]]> By: Tami Boesiger http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-7422 Tami Boesiger Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:00:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-7422 You were right, Jennifer. I find this post very interesting. My big question is if we should change with the times or work to resurrect the habits which served us in days of old. If we do, are we being stuck in the past? Is it necessary to adopt the culture of the present to move forward?<br/><br/>Don't ask me. I'm clueless. You were right, Jennifer. I find this post very interesting. My big question is if we should change with the times or work to resurrect the habits which served us in days of old. If we do, are we being stuck in the past? Is it necessary to adopt the culture of the present to move forward?

Don’t ask me. I’m clueless.

]]> By: amy http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-6177 amy Mon, 19 May 2008 12:13:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-6177 Recently a few freinds and I got together and did some freezer cooking. I left with 4 freezer chicken and broccoli casseroles and a couple of baggies filled with cooked chicken for another few meals. A great day was had by all and the fruits of our visit lived on for several weeks in the form of easy yummy dinners. My teenagers have proclaimed this meal as their new favorite.<br/><br/>Incidently, we did this after I read the original "well" post.<br/><br/>We have plans for getting together for some canning and preserving this summer.<br/><br/>Thank you for your wonderful thoughts on this important subject. Recently a few freinds and I got together and did some freezer cooking. I left with 4 freezer chicken and broccoli casseroles and a couple of baggies filled with cooked chicken for another few meals. A great day was had by all and the fruits of our visit lived on for several weeks in the form of easy yummy dinners. My teenagers have proclaimed this meal as their new favorite.

Incidently, we did this after I read the original “well” post.

We have plans for getting together for some canning and preserving this summer.

Thank you for your wonderful thoughts on this important subject.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5572 Sarah Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:29:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5572 I think that I too am in the same boat as you! I read this post a few days ago and have been thinking about it off and on . . . some ideas:<br/><br/>Join your local grocery co-op - you'll get better deals on healthy foods and be around like-minded people. Plus you'll probably see the same people over and over when you grocer shop!<br/><br/>Go to the Farmer's Market regularly - you'll start buying from the same growers and farmers regularly and start to get to know people while doing your shopping. <br/><br/>Attend the weekly storytime at your local library. You'll be able to get books (for free!), be around other moms and dads who are also interestd in raising literate children, and it is fun for the kids!<br/><br/>If you do kow of some other moms with kids, invite them over to prepare for major holidays. For example, I belong to a mommies group (I don't make all of the meetings though!) and through ithave met about three other moms that I really like. At Thanksgiving time, I invited one of them over with her daughter and together we made pies for Thanksgiving. Yes, it was hectic having two little ones around, (and it was more hectic for me because it was at my house, with my recipe "teaching" my friend who doesn't cook much, BUT she was so thrilled with the "lesson" and we had a great time nonetheless). <br/><br/>There is also a mom's group that meets once a week at my church at 11am - mass is at 12:10 so often moms attend and socialize (craft, pray, etc.) and then can take advantage of a weekly mass as well. Other moms attend so you aren't the only mom there with kids making noise . . . <br/><br/>I hope these ideas help! I'm still putting my toe in the water myself in my area to find my own well, but these are some ideas that I'm working on!<br/><br/>Best,<br/>Sarah<br/><br/>PS - I found my mommie's group via www.meetup.com. There are a ton of groups on there across the nation, there might be one in your area that suits your village well need! I think that I too am in the same boat as you! I read this post a few days ago and have been thinking about it off and on . . . some ideas:

Join your local grocery co-op – you’ll get better deals on healthy foods and be around like-minded people. Plus you’ll probably see the same people over and over when you grocer shop!

Go to the Farmer’s Market regularly – you’ll start buying from the same growers and farmers regularly and start to get to know people while doing your shopping.

Attend the weekly storytime at your local library. You’ll be able to get books (for free!), be around other moms and dads who are also interestd in raising literate children, and it is fun for the kids!

If you do kow of some other moms with kids, invite them over to prepare for major holidays. For example, I belong to a mommies group (I don’t make all of the meetings though!) and through ithave met about three other moms that I really like. At Thanksgiving time, I invited one of them over with her daughter and together we made pies for Thanksgiving. Yes, it was hectic having two little ones around, (and it was more hectic for me because it was at my house, with my recipe “teaching” my friend who doesn’t cook much, BUT she was so thrilled with the “lesson” and we had a great time nonetheless).

There is also a mom’s group that meets once a week at my church at 11am – mass is at 12:10 so often moms attend and socialize (craft, pray, etc.) and then can take advantage of a weekly mass as well. Other moms attend so you aren’t the only mom there with kids making noise . . .

I hope these ideas help! I’m still putting my toe in the water myself in my area to find my own well, but these are some ideas that I’m working on!

Best,
Sarah

PS – I found my mommie’s group via http://www.meetup.com. There are a ton of groups on there across the nation, there might be one in your area that suits your village well need!

]]> By: Jennifer F. http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5545 Jennifer F. Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:47:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5545 There are SO many comments I want to reply to! Just a couple that I scanned recently:<br/><br/>SteveG - I couldn't agree more with everything you said.<br/><br/>Anna - I'm definitely getting that book.<br/><br/>Maria and Karen - I think that those are fantastic suggestions, thanks for sharing.<br/><br/>I hope to be able to respond to some other comments in more detail when I have a little more time! There are SO many comments I want to reply to! Just a couple that I scanned recently:

SteveG – I couldn’t agree more with everything you said.

Anna – I’m definitely getting that book.

Maria and Karen – I think that those are fantastic suggestions, thanks for sharing.

I hope to be able to respond to some other comments in more detail when I have a little more time!

]]> By: SteveG http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5508 SteveG Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:33:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5508 Anna,<br/>I haven't read that book, but I will definitely be picking it up. Thanks!<br/><br/>Karen,<br/>You call that a small suggestion! That's some seriously creative thinking! Great suggestion...really has me thinking. Anna,
I haven’t read that book, but I will definitely be picking it up. Thanks!

Karen,
You call that a small suggestion! That’s some seriously creative thinking! Great suggestion…really has me thinking.

]]> By: Karen http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5507 Karen Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:32:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5507 I have only one tip and it is pretty small, but has been valuable to me. My friend and I have a "low" hospitality rule with one another. If she brings her kids over to my house, she gets tea and whatever it is we are eating or snacking on. She also gets to chase her kids around & to some extent mine. I chat with her and go about my business, laundry, dishes, dinner prep, etc. She pitches in only a little- her bigger contribution is being the mommy-on-call for all 5 of our kids so I can work with fewer interruptions. Nothing I do disrupts her and me visiting. When I drag my kids to her house the same rules apply - even including short (less than 20 minute) errands. This way we can get together once or twice a week without it having too big an impact on work stuff. We also regularly watch each other's kids so that errands can be done more efficiently leaving more time for housework and socializing - I will shop for both of us and she gives me a list and money (not a big grocery shop like I do monthly, but the small in between shops, you know). I get time alone at the store - I can bring my headphones and listen to music or a sermon and be done in half the time of taking three kids. She gets playmates for her kids and dinner started...sometimes she sends me home with some dinner she started for me, like a soup base. It took a long time - it took getting over thinking the other person would be offended if...but it is loving, supportive and works! I have only one tip and it is pretty small, but has been valuable to me. My friend and I have a “low” hospitality rule with one another. If she brings her kids over to my house, she gets tea and whatever it is we are eating or snacking on. She also gets to chase her kids around & to some extent mine. I chat with her and go about my business, laundry, dishes, dinner prep, etc. She pitches in only a little- her bigger contribution is being the mommy-on-call for all 5 of our kids so I can work with fewer interruptions. Nothing I do disrupts her and me visiting. When I drag my kids to her house the same rules apply – even including short (less than 20 minute) errands. This way we can get together once or twice a week without it having too big an impact on work stuff. We also regularly watch each other’s kids so that errands can be done more efficiently leaving more time for housework and socializing – I will shop for both of us and she gives me a list and money (not a big grocery shop like I do monthly, but the small in between shops, you know). I get time alone at the store – I can bring my headphones and listen to music or a sermon and be done in half the time of taking three kids. She gets playmates for her kids and dinner started…sometimes she sends me home with some dinner she started for me, like a soup base. It took a long time – it took getting over thinking the other person would be offended if…but it is loving, supportive and works!

]]> By: Maria http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5500 Maria Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:39:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5500 My husband and I have dealt with this issue in interesting way, though some folks think we are crazy. We now have two of my adult siblings living in our home. We have a three level town home - the top floor is ours, the bottom floor is shared by two of my siblings, and we share the common middle level. <br/><br/>This works out wonderfully for many reasons - financial, emotional, and spiritual. I am so much less isolated than I used to because with three different work schedules, someone is usually home with me and the kids. In fact, my sister worked from home for over a year so I always had someone around! It is also a great experience for my siblings to be part of family life instead of living the fairly self-centered lifestyle most young adults often live on their own. And since we all share the same faith and values, we find real spiritual encouragement from each other. My husband and I have dealt with this issue in interesting way, though some folks think we are crazy. We now have two of my adult siblings living in our home. We have a three level town home – the top floor is ours, the bottom floor is shared by two of my siblings, and we share the common middle level.

This works out wonderfully for many reasons – financial, emotional, and spiritual. I am so much less isolated than I used to because with three different work schedules, someone is usually home with me and the kids. In fact, my sister worked from home for over a year so I always had someone around! It is also a great experience for my siblings to be part of family life instead of living the fairly self-centered lifestyle most young adults often live on their own. And since we all share the same faith and values, we find real spiritual encouragement from each other.

]]> By: Anna http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5497 Anna Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:06:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5497 Steve G.,<br/><br/>Have you ever read a book called Creating Small Church Communities by Fr. Art Baranowski? I tend to think that small groups through the parish are the best way to start rebuilding the kind of cultural community that used to be natural. <br/><br/>God bless. Steve G.,

Have you ever read a book called Creating Small Church Communities by Fr. Art Baranowski? I tend to think that small groups through the parish are the best way to start rebuilding the kind of cultural community that used to be natural.

God bless.

]]> By: maggie http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html/comment-page-1#comment-5496 maggie Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:28:00 +0000 http://gator1217.hostgator.com/~fulwiler/2008/03/motherhood-work-and-socializing.html#comment-5496 I'm late to this, because I don't have any suggestions and I've been sucking up all the comments!<br/><br/>But my husband and I have a conversation nearly every other day about where our next house will be. This post made me realize that we're looking for our next house to be A Community. Unfortunately for us, we have to choose between friends and family, our church or a new church, urban and suburban... there is no perfect solution. WHICH IS KILLING ME. I’m late to this, because I don’t have any suggestions and I’ve been sucking up all the comments!

But my husband and I have a conversation nearly every other day about where our next house will be. This post made me realize that we’re looking for our next house to be A Community. Unfortunately for us, we have to choose between friends and family, our church or a new church, urban and suburban… there is no perfect solution. WHICH IS KILLING ME.

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