Finding God in 5 Steps
I occasionally get emails that say something like this:
I know exactly how it feels to be in this situation. While it's important to understand that any kind of powerful experiences of God are a gift, that there's not some magic formula we can follow that will guarantee that we'll hear the voice of God or have a major religious experience, there are certain things we can do to make more room in our hearts for God's presence.
Based on lots of reading, advice from trusted friends, and plenty of personal experience of doing it the wrong way, I do have a few tips that might help anyone who feels like their search for God isn't going anywhere. For brevity I titled the post Finding God in 5 Steps, although a more accurate title would be, 5 Things I Learned the Hard Way That I Believe Fostered the Right Disposition for Gaining a Better Understanding of God but Since I'm Just Some Fool With an Internet Connection and Not a Pastor or a Theologian You Should Take This and Everything Else I Write With a Big Grain of Salt. So here it goes:
1. Seek humility first
If you feel stuck in your spiritual search, set aside the search for God per se and seek humility instead. The importance of this step cannot be overstated. Pride is one of the most effective ways to block God out of our lives. Throw all your efforts into becoming a more humble person. For inspiration, read up on people throughout history who were known for their humility. If you're not exactly sure what true humility involves (I definitely wasn't), this is an excellent article that explains that humility is not the same thing as low self esteem or thinking that you're bad.
2. Go on a cynicism fast
Commit to a period of time during which you'll fast from all sources of cynicism: give up watching TV shows and reading websites that make jokes at other people's expense (even if it's about celebrities or politicians); try to change the subject or say something positive if such conversations come up in person; avoid making cynical jokes or comments yourself. You might be surprised at how much this fast will transform your heart.
3. Read the great Christian authors
While a transformation of heart, a turning of the soul toward God, is the most critical step in opening ourselves to God, it's also important to realize that seeking God does not mean setting aside logic and reason; as I mentioned in this post, quite the contrary is true. Asking tough questions and hearing what the great Christian thinkers have said on the matter will only bring you closer to God. Some authors I recommend are C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, Thomas Aquinas and Augustine of Hippo (I recommended some specific books that influenced my conversion here).
4. Do the experiment
I believe that God's existence can be "proven" in a certain sense, as long as you understand that God = Love, and what you're trying to prove is Love itself. This is not something you can know about from analyzing data or reading books alone. To get the "proof" that you seek, you must enter the laboratory of your heart, and actually conduct the experiment: live, for a while, as if God did exist. Pray. Follow the Ten Commandments. Show love and kindness to everyone, even your enemies. Read the Bible. Give God the thanks and honor and respect you would show him if he did exist. As Pascal suggested, just try it for a while, and see what happens.
5. Pray frequently
This is by far the most important step. I know, you feel like you're talking to yourself. You don't see the point of it. I was there for a long, long time. But there is no substitution for humbly, regularly turning toward God with an open mind and an open heart. If you're stuck for words, consider reciting something like the Prayer of St. Francis, or just pray, "God, I want to find you. Show me how. I'm listening."
The bottom line is this: seek, and you shall find.
This statement is true. If you understand what it really means to seek (using both your mind and your heart); and if you understand that the finding part doesn't necessarily happen immediately, that you're beginning the long process of building a relationship that will continue to grow and change for the rest of your life, you will find God.
Also, I would be delighted to include anyone in this situation to my prayers. Please feel free to leave a comment (anonymous is fine) if you'd like for me and other readers to pray for you (thanks to Tausign for that suggestion).
I'm what you could call "agnostic." I'm open to the possibility that God might exist. I've even been sort of seeking and have tried praying, but nothing has happened. I'm not any closer to believing in God than I was before, which I take to mean that either God doesn't exist or doesn't care if I know him.
I'm about to give up and just forget about it. I saw in your archives that you were in a similar place a few years ago and wanted to know if you have any advice before I stop what has so far been a futile search for God.
I know exactly how it feels to be in this situation. While it's important to understand that any kind of powerful experiences of God are a gift, that there's not some magic formula we can follow that will guarantee that we'll hear the voice of God or have a major religious experience, there are certain things we can do to make more room in our hearts for God's presence.
Based on lots of reading, advice from trusted friends, and plenty of personal experience of doing it the wrong way, I do have a few tips that might help anyone who feels like their search for God isn't going anywhere. For brevity I titled the post Finding God in 5 Steps, although a more accurate title would be, 5 Things I Learned the Hard Way That I Believe Fostered the Right Disposition for Gaining a Better Understanding of God but Since I'm Just Some Fool With an Internet Connection and Not a Pastor or a Theologian You Should Take This and Everything Else I Write With a Big Grain of Salt. So here it goes:
1. Seek humility first
If you feel stuck in your spiritual search, set aside the search for God per se and seek humility instead. The importance of this step cannot be overstated. Pride is one of the most effective ways to block God out of our lives. Throw all your efforts into becoming a more humble person. For inspiration, read up on people throughout history who were known for their humility. If you're not exactly sure what true humility involves (I definitely wasn't), this is an excellent article that explains that humility is not the same thing as low self esteem or thinking that you're bad.
2. Go on a cynicism fast
Commit to a period of time during which you'll fast from all sources of cynicism: give up watching TV shows and reading websites that make jokes at other people's expense (even if it's about celebrities or politicians); try to change the subject or say something positive if such conversations come up in person; avoid making cynical jokes or comments yourself. You might be surprised at how much this fast will transform your heart.
3. Read the great Christian authors
While a transformation of heart, a turning of the soul toward God, is the most critical step in opening ourselves to God, it's also important to realize that seeking God does not mean setting aside logic and reason; as I mentioned in this post, quite the contrary is true. Asking tough questions and hearing what the great Christian thinkers have said on the matter will only bring you closer to God. Some authors I recommend are C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, Thomas Aquinas and Augustine of Hippo (I recommended some specific books that influenced my conversion here).
4. Do the experiment
I believe that God's existence can be "proven" in a certain sense, as long as you understand that God = Love, and what you're trying to prove is Love itself. This is not something you can know about from analyzing data or reading books alone. To get the "proof" that you seek, you must enter the laboratory of your heart, and actually conduct the experiment: live, for a while, as if God did exist. Pray. Follow the Ten Commandments. Show love and kindness to everyone, even your enemies. Read the Bible. Give God the thanks and honor and respect you would show him if he did exist. As Pascal suggested, just try it for a while, and see what happens.
5. Pray frequently
This is by far the most important step. I know, you feel like you're talking to yourself. You don't see the point of it. I was there for a long, long time. But there is no substitution for humbly, regularly turning toward God with an open mind and an open heart. If you're stuck for words, consider reciting something like the Prayer of St. Francis, or just pray, "God, I want to find you. Show me how. I'm listening."
The bottom line is this: seek, and you shall find.
This statement is true. If you understand what it really means to seek (using both your mind and your heart); and if you understand that the finding part doesn't necessarily happen immediately, that you're beginning the long process of building a relationship that will continue to grow and change for the rest of your life, you will find God.
Also, I would be delighted to include anyone in this situation to my prayers. Please feel free to leave a comment (anonymous is fine) if you'd like for me and other readers to pray for you (thanks to Tausign for that suggestion).
Labels: Belief, Conversion, Doubts, Evangelization, Prayer, Proof, Spiritual Dry Spells
posted by Jennifer F. at 2:52 PM
27 Comments:
To your 'seeking friends' I might add this comment. The fact that you have a desire to find God is your initial 'proof' that he exists and is calling you. He is not indifferent to your plight but he works in his own mysterious way.
Do not feel guilty, inadequate, or unworthy because you haven't 'found' him yet or experienced the 'joys' that are written of on this blog. Be confident because he has called you. The steps listed above are helpful. Thank God in advance for your mustard seed sized faith, for without it you could not have even come this far.
As far as this prayer intercession for seekers...I'm in!
A strong second on the "fast from cynicism fast!" I think the whole trying to stay in the hip crowd by adopting a detached, ironic view of faith and world events in general has been a major stumbling block for me in the past.
I'm also in for strong prayer intercession for all seekers! The door really does swing open wide for all who knock and the joy on the otherside is incredible!
Please pray for Laura, who is seeking. Her 81 yr old mother-in- law has suffered a major stroke and is slowly dying. This situation has brought up many questions about death, treatment, and life.
I am going to refer this blog to her. Thank you, Jenn and everyone!
I am a seeker still struggling to put all the pieces together. I have made considerable progress but still stumble and bump along. At times I overthink every little detail then check dozens of books and become completely and utterly overwhelmed. But there is a magnet out there... I feel it pulling me somewhere.
This passage from Thomas Merton summerizes where I am:
"Good Shepherd, You have a wild and crazy sheep in love with thorns and brambles. But please don't get tired of looking for me! I know You won't. For You have found me. All I have to do is stay found."
Please pray for me to "stay found".
Thank you
-Kim
I will be the first to ask for prayers. I have a beautiful extremely inteligent, getting ready to graduate from college, niece who somewhere along the line has not been able to "prove" God exist. This has been very painful for her very Catholic family. While we have tried to have open dialoge with her, it becomes futile because she likes to take things to an intellectual level that she believes is above us. Therefore, we just continue to pray that God will plant a seed in her heart and in his time it will sprout.
I have enjoyed finding your blog. Your "Why I became Pro Life" is fabulous! I think I will try to send her a link to this last post; maybe it could be the seed.
We love her dearly and we want her to experience the love and joy that only Jesus our Lord can give! Any additional prayers for her conversion would be greatly appreciated!
What incredible advise!
I remember years ago saying prayers that went something like, "OK, God, if you exist, prove it to me NOW." Since nothing happened and I felt like I was talking to the wall I decided that either God didn't exist, or he didn't care if I believed in him.
Maybe I would have opened myself up to him a lot sooner if I had read suggestions like yours back then.
Thank you for this good list. I am a new reader and am blessed to be finding helpful information for my mental files for possible sharing with atheist and agnostic friends and loved ones. (Not to mention helping my daughter who has many teen friends who consider themselves agnostic, but who continually seek God through her).
"The Shack" by William P. Young is the best book I've ever read. MIND-BLOWING is the only way to describe it.
Thanks again :)
Sometimes parables work better than theological tracts for the beginning believer. I recommend the Chronicles of Narnia myself. Every time I read them, I recognize some important truth. CS Lewis was truly inspired when he wrote these.
First off, I was raised in a household that shunned religion due to the abuse my mother suffered in the name of God from her Baptist step-father. I had always just accepted that there was no such thing as God, that Jesus was a great historical figure but no more. Then I went to a Jesuit university (for the great education alone!) and went to my first ever religious service: a mass welcoming new students to the school. I was moved and figured that even though I had no clue what I was doing, I said a prayer to let me find God, or the other way around. Shortly after this I had a dream in which a young girl came to my door and led me through some woods to Christ on his last day. She gestured toward him and told me "through him you can be saved." Since then I have prayed, not consistently, and opened my heart to a calling. Recently, in my prayers, I have felt a calling to the Church. My only question is: How does a never-baptized nor confirmed twenty-something guy begin his life with the Church? Do I just walk into my neighborhood parish and tell someone? I just don't know where to go from here. I feel the love of God every moment and am ready to commit. Please help!
After some twenty five years of pseudo-agnosticism, during a great crisis of despair, while in the ever familiar throes of "why can't I believe like I once used to?", a present day marketing sound-bite rang as an ultra-clear bell of revelation in the mind of my heart..."Just do it!"
For me it all came down to that. If you want to believe, than just do it. Leave the rest up to God. Beyond the consent of our will, we are truly helpless.
ckemiANother confirmation of the "fast from cynicism" step. Cynicism kills not only faith but love.
A few thoughts...
No one can "find" God, but God has probably already found you and that's why the question is bothering you.
I think it was Peter Kreeft, in his book on the Virtues, who wrote that Faith is not the same thing as believing. I thought for a long time that faith was much like believing that 2+2=4,(or maybe like 2+2+5!) He wrote that belief is like a camera, taking pictures of what is. But Faith is like an army, that takes a stand.
To "prove" God exists you have to run the "experiment of life." This is not as discouraging as it seems, because in fact that's how we test most important things. There's no scientific test to show that you are marrying the right person, is there? You have to make the venture, and the proof will come. And your beloved would not be likely to respond positively if you said, "Prove that you love me, right now, or I'm outta here."
"Certainty, in its highest sense, is the reward of those who, by an act of will, and at the dictate of reason and prudence, embrace the truth, when nature, like a coward, shrinks [from it]. You must make a venture; faith is a venture before a man is a catholic; it is a gift after it. You approach the church in the way of reason, you enter it in the light of the spirit."
-- John Henry Newman
[Not sure if this is the second post. If it is, please delete.]
I'll tip my hat to the great post as well.
For me, the the Holy Spirit pulled me (back) to the Catholic sacraments and opened my heart.
My inherent nature is analytical, and I was trying to analyze God by the senses or by a philosophical argument, so JPII's Faith & Reason encyclical, showing that the two are not opposed - which is how they are so often cast in the media - helped dramatically.
St. Augustine's Confessions was a very good recommendation from a cousin of mine.
Another friend of mine recommends The Screwtape Letters, which helped him dramatically on his journey, and I whole-heartedly agree.
But I was a hard egg to crack, so it took all this and the preaching of a couple of good priests and one extraordinary bishop to move my heart. (I also had hordes of people praying for me.)
ooops, typo. I meant 2 + 2 = 5
James in NY, if you want to start living with the Church, the first step is to get baptized since that's the sacrament of initiation into the Body of Christ (aka the Church). To do this, start attending services somewhere and make sure to mention to the priest that you aren't baptized but would like to be. They'll tell you what to do from there.
Jon
James in NY -
Do I just walk into my neighborhood parish and tell someone?
That would be a great start! The program you're looking for is called RCIA, the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. Here is a link that explains what RCIA is.
- MassTimes.org is a great resource for finding a Catholic church near you.
- I know that I and many other people in my RCIA program enjoyed reading books by converts like Scott Hahn and Mark Shea. You might like to check out some of their books.
Feel free to email me as well (link on my profile)!
Jennifer, this is excellent. I'm going to stop writing a blog and just link to you and say, "yeah, what she said."
I'm kidding...but this is an excellent post.
Well, RCIA is what you'll do if you're joining the Church through a church that's in communion with Rome. There are churches in the east, generally called the Orthodox, who aren't in communion with Rome but whom Rome recognizes as part of the Church. There are also what Rome calls ecclesial communities, which includes every other group that identifies itself as Christian. Some of those, like the Anglicans, understand themselves to be part of the Church even though Rome disagrees.
The process one goes through before baptism varies depending on which group is doing the baptizing.
Jon
First of all, a really great post. I find myself in a different situation, actually mentioned by one of the posters. My children, age 29 to 18, have grown up essentially as non practicing Catholics, partly my fault I am sure (divorced household, unfortunately). I pray as much as I can that the Lord may call them back to the fold, so far I have only seen some signs, but it is a hard thing to wait and pray. I guess St. Augustine's mother went through something like this.
Anyway, I would appreciate advice, prayers and support.
For Lisa,
definitely prayer is the most important thing to get your niece back in believing in God (St. Augustine's mother, Monica, prayed for 16 consecutive years until her son came to know God). If you wanted a boost for her, though, you may want to check out Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas. There is a part in this writing that deals with "Does God Exist?" and he comes up with five very scientific reasons for God's existence. It is a tough read, so if she is serious in proving God's existence with reason, then she can take her time with it.
Good luck and never stop praying (I will say a prayer for her as well)!
I love your long title better. I got an amazing belly laugh out of it. Thanks.
On prayer, I heard somewhere once (can't remember where) to pray often and when necessary, use words. That has had a lot of meaning for me.
This is a fantastic list for those of us who are just getting lukewarm in our faith -- 5 Steps to Being a Better Christian. :)
"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
Wow, I think this is a great post for those who have been floundering in their faith! Thanks for a wonderful post.
I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog. It provides inspiration that my job (leading youth to Christ) is not impossible. On a different note, you have been "tagged" for a meme at my blog. Please also consider giving me a link in your blogroll. God bless!
I used to be an Atheist... and I had a similar experience with my conversion... first and foremost is Humility! I didn't realise when I allowed myself to have intellectual humilty what I was doing, but somehow it happened. And as I was seeking, God came to me in a most glorious way. And I second all of them, though for me the order was different.
Praying came first without me realising it [I was "meditating" daily and while was meditating, I happened to be in adoration (I was also chasing two Catholic girls), and I happened to make the mistake of asking God to show Himself.]
With the meditating came the reading of classic authors so I could "debate" against the best...
and well I failed.
And I've never been so happy to have failed at anything!
The world is so much more meaningful and beautiful on this side of faith!
Great message, keep it up.
Glad I "rediscovered" your blog. Mine is a two steps forward, three steps back journey of faith; right now, I seem to be inching forward. I'd like to request prayers be sent my way, though I'm not sure I believe they'll work...
In the meantime, I'll try to take your suggestions to heart.
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