To me, agape is a natural part of life and always has been, thanks to my parents. I don’t mean just that they set selfishness aside to care for me but also that they demonstrated agape through frequent volunteer work and helping friends and neighbors and relatives. I spent many hours of my childhood quietly playing at the fringes of meetings, helping prepare bulk mailings, and helping with the housework. I never got the idea that life was SUPPOSED to be all about parties and self-indulgence; that’s always seemed strange and pathetic whenever I’ve encountered it, even when I was little.

Of course I do think about mySELF to some extent, and of course there are times when agape is temporarily drowned out by my selfish desires. But overall, the idea that helping others is a primary goal of life is just sort of obvious to me. Sometimes I have trouble understanding how other people CAN be so self-centered; doesn’t it just FEEL WRONG? How does anyone get through a week without volunteering for something?!

I have my parents (Unitarian, only two children) to thank for this foundation. Having started from that, I found becoming a Christian and becoming a parent relatively easy transitions. My “life” didn’t stop when I had a child; my child became part of my life. Partly that’s because my self was small already so there was room for him, and partly it was because I assumed his self was small and would fit in. (Does that make sense? It’s hard to explain.)

I’m sure you’ve thought about how to build into your children’s lives the values you’ve had to learn as an adult. I urge you to remember that they need to see agape not just within the family but in many contexts, as an integral part of life in general. Being selfless for your children can too easily lead them to think the world revolves around them (even if it’s “them” in a group, not individually) and conclude that selfless love is something they deserve to receive all their lives rather than something they ought to emulate. So get them involved in helping others as soon as you can, and don’t forget that you are an “other” too!

I was the same way when my oldest was born–he couldn’t even sit up, and already I was longing for a day when he’d be off to school and I could get back to real things. Now I still look forward to my kids getting older, but it’s because I can’t wait to share more with them–have deeper conversations, play football in the back yard, share in their individual hobbies and interests. It’s a completely different perspective!

Although I have to admit, I am still looking forward to their teenage years, when presumably they will sleep well into the afternoon and not wake us up at 5:30AM!

Happy Mothers Day!

My youngest is graduating next week (we’ve homeschooled since she was in 2nd grade) and I’m dealing with the empty nest feelings. I cannot imagine doing anything else in my life that will bring me as much joy as being a mother (except perhaps being a grandmother??). Enjoy every minute of your young ones. (From one who didn’t know how to enjoy little ones, and didn’t truly understand Agape until about halfway through my mothering time.)

Blessings,

Sandy

Although I’m not a mom nor even a wife yet, God has really been impressing upon me how I should seek to be used by him more fully, to die to my own desires and rest content in his love in service of others. After a series of unexpected and disappointing events in my life, lately, I’ve been wrestling with feelings of disillusionment with my walk and thoughts of being “so marginalized in my own life”, as I describe it in my worst moments (Yikes! I can’t believe I even call myself a Christian with those thoughts!).

What God has been trying to tell me all the while (but I’ve been so hard-headed to hear), was that I’m disappointed because I’m still living based on my own generated plans and desires (and I thought I had passed that test years ago). I’m still very me-focused and have yet to give my heart and desires over to him in service of others. It’s only when I do so will I find true contentment, joy and peace and ironically, get my life back as you say.

It’s been a true and painful, but overwhelmingly worthwhile lesson in humility and learning what love and living life to the full really mean.

This post is so true. Now, with 6 kiddos, I have a REAL life. I love deeper than I ever did before. I am deeply concerned for people, even those I don’t know. I am a totally different person than I was 15 years ago.

This post really said it all for me. Happy Mother’s Day.