Thank God for surprises, part I
I can finally talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while: I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. Since we had just had three babies in three years, we definitely didn’t feel like this was the right time for baby #4. Honestly, I felt like I’d checked the “surprise pregnancy” box last year — we rose to that challenge, learned more about NFP after our conversion, and now we wouldn’t ever be in that situation again. Whew!
When I saw the two pink lines, I thought I might pass out. I didn’t want to mention it on the blog since I hadn’t told family yet and, honestly, that’s probably a good thing. There would have been a lot of whining. Probably more than one post titled “I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS!!!!”, maybe a couple called “Morning sickness…AGAIN.”
This has been a factor in the recent spiritual dry spell. The unlikeliness of the circumstances that had to play out for this baby’s existence made it an obvious candidate for the take that “it must have been God’s plan!” But constantly nauseated, my energy level suddenly slashed in half, I was pretty cynical about that notion. Of course I recognized that this new little son or daughter is a great gift and immense blessing…but the timing I wasn’t so sure about. I already have three children, and my oldest is only three. We’re still paying off medical bills from our last baby. Because of my history of DVT and the clotting disorder, my veins really need a break. Speaking of which, I don’t look forward to the daily anticoagulation shots in the stomach and the semi-weekly hematologist visits. I was just getting started with finally losing weight. And, umm, I was kind of trying to write a book here.
How could it possibly be a good thing to have a baby right now? Is it not a bit of a stretch to say that “it must be God’s plan” when the circumstances are so very far from ideal?
That’s what I’ve been thinking about and praying about a lot these past few weeks. Just over the past few days, I keep feeling drawn to two stories over and over again that have given me a lot of peace and resolution on the issue. I’ll share them in part two of this post. In the meantime, despite my worries I am truly happy to announce our fourth little blessing, and would appreciate prayers for our growing family.
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Congratulations! And prayers. I know I would feel similar to you but for different reasons if I were to have the same news.
how very very wonderful!!! Congrats to you, Jennifer. You are such an inspiration. Whatever plans God has for your family, they are good.
I was just preparing a pro life letter to the editor of my newspaper (bashing the abortifacient Pill and IUD) and then clicked over to see your update. Thanks for the “fuel” for this letter.
You rock.
Congratulations! I am learning so much about my Catholic faith (new this past Easter Vigil) and reading your blog has helped. Thank you for serving as such a great example of acceptance and reliance on God. I’m still learning to trust more fully
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
I’m firmly in the “every baby is a gift camp” so I’m quite thrilled to hear it. With great sympathy for all of the physical, emotional, and financial distress it causes as well.
I will be heartily praying for you to be healed of the clotting disorder. And to bear with grace the next several months.
Be assured you will have our prayers.
Oh… can I have that pregnancy then?
I’m 38… struggling in a relationship with the man I thought might be my husband… hmmm… dying to have a marriage and children.
It keeps happening to everyone else!
Oh it will be hard. No doubt about it and with 3 little ones already…it will be very hard. However, life does move on and those 4 little ones do grow up.
I was just at our open house for school and there was Jen…she had 4 little girls in 5 years. The 3rd on is in pre-school already.
I had 4 close together and it was hard but I wouldn’t change it now. The kids are so close and have so much in common.
I will pray you will have a healthy pregnancy. This baby will be with you forever and ever and ever someday. What a blessing.
Just wanted to say congrats to you and I admire your fortitude in the face of lots of baby-related challenges. It’s easy to be open to new life in a Catholic marriage when you want to get pregnant, or when circumstances make welcoming another baby straightforward. It’s so much harder when there are genuine reasons that a bit of a break might be nice. Staying faithful and hopeful in these times shows your real strength and it’s inspiring to me. I’m just (hopefully) emerging from a long spiritual dry spell and finding new energy for growing and nurturing my faith. Your blog is one of the resources that is enriching my faith at the moment. Thank you. I will pray for you and your family. Not just a prayer for your new baby and the challenges that will bring, but also a prayer of gratitude for what you have created here.
Congratulations!!! Many prayers coming your way. If there is anything I’ve learned in the last 10 years with kids, it’s that my plans are just so much dust – I just cling to the fact that God must know better than me, despite what I might feel about that, LOL.
Courage, Jen. With the grace of God, you can do this.
Congratulations. I hope all goes well.
Congratulations Jen! All the best for the coming weeks and months as your new little one grows.
Margaret
Praying for you and your family. May God give you rest and health throughout this pregnancy. May His grace sustain you and give you peace.
Congratulations on this new blessing.
Congratulations!
This is where trusting God’s plan and timing moves from philosophical to practical. It will be interesting to see how He works everything together perfectly. He always does.
Happy St. Monica’s Feast! Happy, Happy News on Baby # 4!
Congratulations, Jennifer! It’s hard to believe, sometimes, but God’s timing is truly the best. Everything may not happen the way you think, but it will change you for the better! God bless your family (even more).
Four is a great number!
I can relate to what you have been feeling. I only know you from your blog but I am going to guess your family is a perfect place to bring another one of Gods gifts into. Many prayers are coming your way!
Congratulations!
I don’t care what the NFP literature says about breast feeding preventing pregnancy, it’s simply not true. I’ve heard of too many couples having surprise pregnancies while trying to follow this rule. Anyway, congratulations, and you have my prayer support.
Congratulations Jen. My mom had my five older siblings within six years. I came along 3.5 years later and I’m forever happy to be here. Be not afraid!
except her oldest was 13 and she thought she was DONE. She had just had a book published and another one due, her husband was starting his own business, and this and that and all those other things. The thing is children are a blessing from the Lord and this little boy would change their lives, would get her into photography (her absolute true and perfect calling–she is incredible). God knows exactly what is best for you, for your family, and in our weakness He is STRONG. (I can say that knowing what you mean about all the health issues–I get deathly ill each pregnancy) enough so that moth my doctor and my husband, after much prayer, insisted that I no longer have children and I regret that decision daily.
When our #3 was on the way we were in the same boat as you. We weren’t ready mentally, physically or spiritually. It was very difficult. Now I can’t imagine life without him.
When our #4 was on the way we were in the same boat as you. We weren’t ready mentally, physically or spiritually. It was very difficult. Now I can’t imagine life without him.
Sound like a broken record, don’t I?
Take it day by day if you have to. Minute to minute if you must. I will pray for you and your family. Know that this difficult time will be a faded memory before you know it.
Congratulations! You and your family will definitely be in my prayers. I’ve been enjoying your blog for some time and I want you to know how much you’ve helped me in my own faith journey! God bless you and baby #4!
Wow, congrats!
I too have 3 kids 3 and under. The first two are Irish twins and the third is thirteen months apart from the second. My youngest is 11 months. I’ve just reached the point in the past week or so where finding out I’m pregnant would no longer occasion the end of the world for me.
I will pray for your strength and health.
Congrats on baby #4. Children are truly a blessing under all circumstances (even on bad days lol!).I wish you luck and good health. Amy (mom of 7)
Coming out of my lurking status to congratulate you! I, too, had a surprise 4th seven years after our “last” baby (ok, it was 15 years ago) but still…..anyway, he was welcomed warmly by all, and we couldn’t imagine life without him. Prayers for you and your family, as well as the new little someone.
Congratulations! Looking forward to hearing more of the story.
Oh, congratulations, Jen! I know that you will handle this little surprise with grace. Another little life to hold, how wonderful!
Congratulations and blessings to your entire family. Again your witnessing is testimony to a truly spiritual life. I’m placing you in ‘the prayer corner’ for heaps of grace.
These surprise ‘gifts of life’ are always another braid in our lifeline to heaven…just no doubt about it.
Congratulations! I will be praying for your health, as well as baby’s.
Congratulations!! I come from a family of 8 and I wouldn’t trade it for anything – your kids are super lucky! Who needs sleep anyway?
Oh, my goodness… CONGRATULATIONS!
I can sympathize (somewhat) with your situation. I had a 3 1/2 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 10 mth old baby. I was begging God for a break.
Instead, I got pregnant.
I freaked out, thought, “there is no way in you-know-where I am going to be able to do this!!!!”
I was resentful and sure that NFP was one big joke. I was embarrassed because people KNEW my stance on NFP, and my Catholicism, and here I was looking like a participant in a freak show with 3 little ones and another one definitely on the way.
That baby, by the way, was Christopher — a VERY easy-going baby who now, at age 6, keeps us laughing.
Please know that I will be praying for you all through this pregnancy!!
Hope everything is going well so far! Many, many congratulations, and of course continued prayers.
(And can I mention how impressed I am that you’re able to blog so coherently through those first couple of months?
)
Hi Jenn. I found your blog a few weeks ago and I really feel as if I have found a kindred spirit. I’m looking for fancier words but really I just love you! I was a little shocked myself to read your announcement. Wow! I will be praying for you and your family and looking forward to updates.
I know your pain(morning sickness), and confusion(huh?! Again!?) and free-fall (but God, I was already in a direction!)
We have 10, ages 8-28 and sometimes it’s been hard, people may get harsh, you will walk ahead of this but you will never walk alone…..
Big Hug!
Congratulations!! I will definitely pray for you and your growing family–God bless!
Congratulations!!!!
I love to hear baby news…God is certainly blessing you (and challenging you, of course!) and while it will be difficult, God will give you the graces to do what you need to do.
I have a good friend who has 6 children 6 and under (3 are adopted, so she didn’t have to go through 6 pregnancies) and when I feel overwhelmed with my 2, I think of her…
She recently told me that when she feels overwhelmed, she thinks of a couple she knows who had two sets of twins in one year (yikes!)
We all feel that way sometimes, no matter what our circumstances. I just wanted to let you know that you will definately be in our prayers, and I am excited to hear all about your new baby!
Prayers.
Congratulations!
In a million years, the book, the health issues, the naseau, the doctors–everything–will have passed away.
Except that new life. He will continue. Forever.
The Lord bless you…
Congratulations, our prayers are with you!
Congrats Jen! I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and have printed quite a few of your wonderfull entries to share with others.
This baby is definitley a blessing; of all the true “surprise” babies I have ever known there is something special about each of them that they bring to every family. I hope you do not receive anything but joy and goodwill with your announcement. Many prayers for you and your family. Allison
Congratulations! I will be praying for this pregnancy to be easier on you, and for everything to go well. I am pregnant with my fifth and my midwife comes for my first appointment today. I can relate to a lot of what you have been feeling. The first year is so hard for me with not getting enough sleep that sometimes I can’t fathom why God would give me more children, but I know we will fall head over heels for this little one too. I can’t wait to read part two!
Congratulations!
Congratulations Jennifer.
If I’ve learned one thing over the past few years, it’s that God’s timing is rarely ours. But if we accept His path and look for His best, He always lavishes it.
I pray this little one will be a lavish blessing to your family.
Congratulations! And bless your heart! I’ll pray for you regarding your health and spiritual needs and energy levels.
Congratulations! This is great news! I do get it about the morning sickness. Mine was so bad I was hospitalized for it. Fortunately, I didn’t have your other difficulties. I will be praying for you.
My parents used the rhythm method, and it actually worked pretty well for them. They had only one totally unplanned pregnancy, and that was me.
If they had not been faithful Catholics, I would not be here. Neither would my daughter.
In my “Cafeteria Catholic” days I used birth control. I’m left now to wonder about the generations that are not here and never will be because of my decision.
I am eager to read Part II. With your blog, you are a blessing to so many. Thank you.
Oh, honey, you are going to be so happy and you are going to have such a sweet little family! This is the hard part – I must admit that every time I go through the morning sickness, I have second thoughts about babies and NFP and welcoming life. So you’ll just have to borrow my perspective for a bit and believe that it’s true – the more, the merrier!
God bless!
Congratulations! If you don’t get that warm of a response much as you let peopple know I’ll say it again… Congratulations! I sit here pregnant with my fourth (due in five weeks)while my 10 month old plays at my feet, my 2 /12 year old and just turned 4 year old sleep. To say that I was shocked is an understatement (I too wanted to give my body a break as I ruptured my uterus delivering my 2)…. but I believe with my whole heart that this is God’s timing. Again, Congratulations
Many blessings on your newest blessing.
Wow, I better get crackin’! You’re almost keeping pace with me!
Oh, heartfelt congratulations! You are definitely in my prayers.
Every blessing, Jennifer…
He is always good and you are always loved. Seems cliche, I know, but granite truth.
Our fifth left us off kilter, queasy, scared.
And now, the joy.
No, never expected so much joy.
And so we’re back to: He is always Good and we are always loved.
Hang on to truth, my friend…
All’s grace,
Ann
Congratulations!
I thought I would want my kids super close in age since that’s how I grew up, but I am so done being pregnant I can’t even IMAGINE having a 3rd any time soon! So I am eagerly awaiting part 2, full, as I’m sure it is, of wisdom on this subject!
Congratulations! I know how hard it can be when a pregnancy isn’t quite what you expect (I cried so very hard when I found out how high risk our twin pregnancy was), but I think God is big enough to hear and hold your tears and fears, and still bring you safe through to the joy. I pray this may be the easiest and healthiest pregnancy (and baby) you’ve ever had.
Congratulations, Jen!
And may I suggest, this might be a good time to add a paypal button to the sidebar? If I’m going to have to wait longer for that book, I’d like to be able to drop a few dollars in the tip jar now and then in thanks for all the thought-provoking posts you’ve written that have inspired and strengthen me and others!
God Bless you and your family, Jennifer!!! God truly blesses those who are faithful and trust Him, even when we’re not so sure the differences between blessings and crosses
lol 
We’re expecting #2, the kids will only be 17 months apart. Some moments I am overwhelmed with joy and some moments I’m just overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter, though, does it – “My Grace is sufficient!”
Praise God for the beautiful gift of Life, and Congratulations!!! Lots of prayers heading your way
You’re in my prayers Jennifer.
Congratulations Jennifer–you are truly blessed!! I’ll keep you in my prayers that you have a healthy and safe pregnancy. The spacing is perfect, your children will grow up to be close and loving siblings.
Congratulations!!
Jen,
This wonderful news makes your previous post about the cheeseburgers all the more poignant. Cheeseburgers were the only thing that tasted good to me during my first pregnancy — so I can appreciate what a sacrifice you were willing to make for your little friends!
You have been such a blessing in my life — thank you for the honesty and grace you share with us in every blog entry. I send you my most heartfelt congratulations and will keep you in my prayers. How blessed you are!
Mary
wow! congratulations… and i know that you WILL see (or already have seen)God’s hand in this.
Congrats Jen! How beautifully you and your husband are responding to God’s call to be open to life! I will pray for you and your family in these coming months!
Congratulations. I am so right there with you!!! It was refreshing to read your post because I know emotionally exactly what you are going through, although I do not have the same health ailments.
God bless you and congratulations.
~pansy
Praise the Lord!
Get the baby’s guardian angel praying for you too! The more prayer warriors the better
Hooray! Congratulations and my prayers for the health of you and your little one growing in secret wonder
God bless you and your family.
First, congrats!
Second, prayers for you and yours, especially in light of your difficulties.
World domination through procreation.
Congratulations!! Even though the circumstances might seem less than ideal right now, God has a plan.
Congratulations! I hope this pregnancy is safe and healthy for you. I’ll be praying for you.
Jennifer
Jennifer,
I’m coming out of lurk mode to ask you where your pay pal button is? I will be keeping you in my prayers, but it’s always nice to do something in this realm to help out.
Katherine
“Big sis” Jen,
Thank you for being so forthcoming in sharing your anxieties about having another baby. As another only-child who is no where near marriage and having a family (seemingly) but still fraught with the occasional anxiety around being called to have a big family, I am blessed to read of your honesty in your struggles to walk faithfully with our Lord. Your life has been a testimony to God’s goodness and has indeed strengthened my own faith.
I wish you all the best with baby #4! Despite all the circumstances and the apparent bad timing, I am confident God will provide for you and your family richly and abundantly. I can’t imagine the love that will overflow into your home with this new addition!
Congratulations to you and your family!
Congratulations! You will be in my prayers. It will be interesting to follow along with you this pregnancy as I am also newly pregnant with #4.
Congratulations and also empathy and prayers. I discovered I was pregnant with our 4th when our twins had just turned 1 and the oldest was 2.5. She is almost 1.5 now. It was extremely unexpected (I really don’t know how she was conceived!) and frankly unwelcome. But she is such a great joy and the delight of our whole family. Her middle name is Theodora (which means gift of God) because she was such a lovely unexpected and undeserved gift! It hasn’t been easy (though not really harder than my twins’ first year) but there has also been much grace. And God gives strength. But I don’t know how I’d feel if I became pregnant now–though in a few more years I’d love another!
This is my first comment–I’ll probably go back to lurking now–sorry for such a long comment, I just wanted to tell you I understand, at least a bit!
Prayers, and blessings. I have been there, with a very unexpected pregnancy six years ago (number 6), and then, just recently, with number 8, after thinking I was too old to have any more babies. Apparently God doesn’t think so, and this new one will be here in March. God can not be out done in generosity! Bless you for your generous openness to life! Joy awaits!
Congrats and many prayers here too. Found myself in the same position Fourth of July weekend. My oldest is 4 though. LOL However, last week at 12 weeks, that little angel went on to heaven before we got a chance to meet him/her. God IS in control. God’s plan WILL be fulfilled. Lean on Him. He’ll get you through.
CONGRATULATIONS!! Isn’t it funny how when God changes us, he REALLY changes us. We ended up doing all kinds of things we thought we never wanted to do — AND LOVING IT!
Love and prayers to you and your family.
AND to TRS — Peace, blessings and prayers to you too, longing for a family of your own.
Oh, Jen, congratulations!
Our first few babies are less than 18 months apart, too. I was pregnant 5 times in five years (one baby died before birth)!
Hang in there.