Thank God for surprises, part I
I can finally talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while: I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. Since we had just had three babies in three years, we definitely didn’t feel like this was the right time for baby #4. Honestly, I felt like I’d checked the “surprise pregnancy” box last year — we rose to that challenge, learned more about NFP after our conversion, and now we wouldn’t ever be in that situation again. Whew!
When I saw the two pink lines, I thought I might pass out. I didn’t want to mention it on the blog since I hadn’t told family yet and, honestly, that’s probably a good thing. There would have been a lot of whining. Probably more than one post titled “I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS!!!!”, maybe a couple called “Morning sickness…AGAIN.”
This has been a factor in the recent spiritual dry spell. The unlikeliness of the circumstances that had to play out for this baby’s existence made it an obvious candidate for the take that “it must have been God’s plan!” But constantly nauseated, my energy level suddenly slashed in half, I was pretty cynical about that notion. Of course I recognized that this new little son or daughter is a great gift and immense blessing…but the timing I wasn’t so sure about. I already have three children, and my oldest is only three. We’re still paying off medical bills from our last baby. Because of my history of DVT and the clotting disorder, my veins really need a break. Speaking of which, I don’t look forward to the daily anticoagulation shots in the stomach and the semi-weekly hematologist visits. I was just getting started with finally losing weight. And, umm, I was kind of trying to write a book here.
How could it possibly be a good thing to have a baby right now? Is it not a bit of a stretch to say that “it must be God’s plan” when the circumstances are so very far from ideal?
That’s what I’ve been thinking about and praying about a lot these past few weeks. Just over the past few days, I keep feeling drawn to two stories over and over again that have given me a lot of peace and resolution on the issue. I’ll share them in part two of this post. In the meantime, despite my worries I am truly happy to announce our fourth little blessing, and would appreciate prayers for our growing family.
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after reading this, I am wondering if the “planning” part of NFP is a chimera.
hpd
My prayers are with you!
Many Many prayers being sent your way. Congratulations!!! and Peace to you and yours.
Oh, Honey, have I been where you are!! We had 10 month old preemie triplets, 2 on Oxygen and 2 on feeding tubes, when I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say I was MAD AT GOD. How DARE He bring another life into our chaos???
Catie is, and has been for the past 5 1/2 years, a complete blessing to us. God knew, way more than we did, how much we needed her and her personality and life.
Congratulations, and may God bless you as He has blessed us. What he has give to you, He will equip you to deal with, I promise!
Congratulations and God bless!
Congratulations! Will certainly be praying for you.
Can’t wait to read Part 2
Congratulations Jen! You will be in my prayers.
Nicole
Congratulations! I’m so grateful for your blog, and though I’m looking forward to the novelized version, I suppose I can stand to wait a year or two or more.
Take care of yourself, and all of us will be praying for all of you!
chris
Congratulations! You and yours will be in my prayers!
I had my first almost 6 months ago and she keeps us busy, but she also more and more convinces me that children are always a blessing. God must love you very very much!
Feel better soon.
I am so overwhelmed by all these wonderful responses! Thank you so, SO much!!
Also…for those of you who asked about a PayPal tip jar, your kindness blows me away. I may put up some sort of tip jar where you can donate to a crisis pregnancy center in my name if you would like to give a gift. I’ll think about what exactly to do, but just wanted to say that I was blown away by your kind offers!
Jennifer, congratulations! I’m so happy for you. My fourth pregnancy had me gaping in wonder at the two little pink lines, so I understand how you feel. And now? I wouldn’t trade my little “wonder” for anything–she has been my pure delight, the sweet little blessing I didn’t even know I needed.
I will pray for you.
Congratulations! I had my first four children in 4 1/2 years. There were 15 mo. between #1 & #2, 20 mo. between #2 & #3, and 19 mo. between #3 & #4. It wasn't easy, but I made it through. (I have six children today!)
I began reading your blog a couple months ago. I am a Protestant, but my best friend of 20 years is a Catholic. We've had many conversations about the differences between Catholic and Protestant teachings and beliefs. Circumstances in my life have caused me to reevaluate what I believe about the Church. Your blog has encouraged me to search for truth and given me a lot to think about. I also identify with you since I was in your shoes about 8 years ago when I was pregnant with my fourth baby. You have great faith in God and a great attitude about all the work and exhaustion involved in being a pregnant mom of three small children.
God bless you, Amy
Jen, I just read this today…congratulations! I’m very happy for you, and I also understand your anxiety. Be assured that you’re going onto my intentions list in my Missal.
Congratulations on little blessing #4! I only have three myself; but my 3rd was a complete and utter surprise and since I could pinpoint the ONE day that month when she possibly could have been conceived, I knew she was God’s idea, not mine! She was the EASIEST of all my babies and such a joy so clearly He knows what he is doing. Anyway there are a few BIG families in my neighborhood — one with 5 kids, one with 7 kids, and one with 8 kids, and they all told me that anything above 3 is a wash. “If you can handle 3, you can handle 7 — you just set a few more places at the dinner table!” is how one put it.
Congratulations and God bless you! I had my 4th when my oldest was 4. I also have problems with nausea, weight gain, veins and pregnancy, but my veins are not nearly as bad as yours. I remember the feeling when I saw the second pink line: how can I do it?
I just want to say how grateful I am now for that baby. I can’t say it was easy.
If, at that time, I could have picked a time for pregnancy, I would have said “not now”.
But if I had the choice with what I know now: who she would be, how our family would be affected, how I had to grow, I would do it.
I’m glad I let God make the call.
You will be blessed with so much joy from this child!
I would also ask you to rethink using the pay pal button as a donation. Pray about it. Maybe this is how God would like to provide for the medical bills.
You have been a blessing to us, we would also like to care for you.
Praying for sure. Congratulations! I have one, and am still not sure when I’ll be ready for number two.
Yet God does provide, so I can’t wait to see what he has in store for you. For example… friends of ours have two, expecting a third. She’s a SAHM. He’s working on his doctoral thesis, has a part-time job. Money is tight. BUT… he can apply for parental benefits from the government (thanks, Canada!) that will help them with the bills. So the baby is really coming at a good time for them! God’s plan is amazing.
Congratulations and best of luck, Jen! I’ll be praying for you and your family.
–Elizabeth B.
Congratulations.
What you mentioned about the challenges that come with this new child remind me of a history of the Catholic Church in modern Ireland. It also reminded me that, while children are always a blessing, they are also a curse a disturbing amount of the time.
Jon
Obviously, Congrats. I’ve been following along for awhile but not said anything, even though you seem to mirror my thoughts but voice them more succinctly.
This is an area my DH and I struggle. We believe in NVP and we had decided to just let God plan our family. WE’ve just had our 4th child in June and we just don’t really know where to go next. It’s hard to NFP when certainn things haven’t returned. It’s often in my thoughts – what if I turn up PG again?? The mere thought right now sends me into a panic, but I always come back to something I said to my husband once “Either you Trust Him, or you don’t. Decide.” Trusting is often a scary thing because it feels so vulnerable, an no one likes to be vulnerable.
Anyway, I have a tendancy to ramble, as you can see.
Thanks, once again, for voicing my thoughts and making me think.
Jen, congrats and hang in there, all at once. Just wanted to call your attention to a new anticoagulant that should be hitting the market in ’09, should the FDA fast track it.
It’s an oral – I assume you’re on Lovenox, if you’re getting shots now – so hopefully this might offer some relief for your clotting condition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rivaroxaban
Congrats and may God shower you & your family with many comforting & peaceful graces!! I had 3 kids in 4 years (on purpose) and I know just how crazy daily life can be with lots of young blessings running around.
I love your site! It has given me so much to think about as someone who has recently returned to the Catholic faith. THANK YOU. BLESS YOU.
Congratulations! You and your growing family will be in our prayers
Prayers for you and your growing family! May God continue to bless you in many *surprising* ways!!!
God Bless,
Jane
Congratulations, and all the best to you and your family. I know it can sometimes be hard to accept that this is God’s plan for you and that God knows best, but I’m sure this will all work out eventually. It might be very trying for a while, but I’m confident that you will come out of the other side of this better and stronger than you ever have been before.
Congrats are in order! It seems like just yesterday you gave birth to baby #3. You are going to be in my prayers every day for the next nine months. God bless you.
Wow, congratulations! 4 is a lot to handle but at least you have all the gear. When are you due?
congratulations! I’m telling you it’s the diet. it gets me every time
When I found out I was pregnant with #4 I was surprised I thought fertility was suppose to decline. Now that baby is 7 weeks old… we’re in a routine I couldn’t imagine not having him.
Hi Jen,
if you don’t want to put up a paypal tip jar, you should see if you can do what many other bloggers do and have an Amazon link where if people click through to Amazon from your site and buy anything at all you get a small commission. You recommend plenty of books, so it would be a natural fit for your site. People want to give back for all you give to them — which is not nothing, to say the least!
I’m used to seeing surprise pregnancy posts over at the Ovusoft boards, where the focus is on the woman’s charts. It’s always a learning experience, both about common mistakes (so hopefully I’ll be able to help others avoid them in the future), and about accepting that “trying to avoid”, even when all the rules are understood and followed, doesn’t mean pregnancy won’t happen!
So of course my reaction upon reading this is wanting to see your charts :p. But I think by sharing your experiences, you are offering your readers a much deeper learning experience about accepting fertility. Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Oh, and ditto to the other posters on offering ways for your readers to support you. I really appreciate the lack of ads on your site, but something like Veronica’s “I recommend” sidebar to Amazon, or the CafePress sidebar at a leftist blog I read would probably be welcomed by your readers.
For me, it was numbers four and five. I had checked the “unexpected blessing” box with number four and been a good sport, but he wasn’t yet four months old when I found myself looking at those lines again with shock.
I won’t say it was easy. I struggled and was overwhelmed, but not for too, too long. The most difficult part was over within a year and I learned some important lessons and I am a better person for it.
Also, those two are such a joy! (I often say I’d love them just as much even if they weren’t my own) Their sweet personalities pulled me through one day to the next and before I knew it the baby was going on three years old and I didn’t want it to end. We prayed for a new baby and are happily expecting number six.
Life really does get easier as the family gets older, even just by a few months or years. My body is tired this time around, but overall this pregnancy is so so much easier than those last two. I have help, support, love, experience, and five sons eagerly expecting their new brother. We recently got everyone out of diapers. I’m so glad it’s not over.
One last thing, we’re now adding you to our list of expectant moms we pray for daily. Congratulations!
Congrats. When we announced our fourth, my in-laws actually said “OH NO!!!!!!!!” And then they told us they were happy.
Congrats.
I’ll have to start paying closer attention to your site now. See, if you do find a crisis pregnancy center you trust, I’ll just have to add it to my the Blegroll.
Hi Jen,
We just got our computer up and running in Va after our move. How happy I was to see this post. You and your family will be in my prayers. My 4 year old prays for “all the mama’s with babies in their tummies” every night.
Jenny
I also have a clotting disorder and do the anticoagulation shots in the stomach, your right it is no picnic. I’ve had 9 kids though, and some have been just like this one for you a total “how did this happen” surprise! I white knuckled it through the rough spots and Grace was on tap form above and I can honestly say I would relive each and every high risk pregnancy. You’ll feel the same way too when all the morning sickness passes and the shots become old news again. My hematologist was not pro my being pregnant so going to see him was never easy to adjust to. I’m praying for you and if you ever find this comment buried underneath so many wonderful well wishers your welcome to email me anytime since your the only other blogger I know with this disorder, I figured I might be one of the few who have commented on your blog.
Kathryn
petekathryn@embarqmail.com
Jennifer,
Congratulations! I am relatively new to your blog, and I’m really enjoying reading it. My name is also Jennifer, but I post under “Juliana,” my Chrismation name.
I also have Factor V Leiden (with protein C resistance). I’ve had 4 DVT’s. My husband and I adopted our son (so far, our only child). I am a convert to the Orthodox Church.
God Bless!
Juliana
A hearty congratulations to you Jennifer! Offering memorares for a good pregnancy and a blessed birth and baby!
Congratulations!
I must say, I am thoroughly convinced that NFP is as good a path to pregnancy as any! My husband was trying to convince me but I was stubborn. You and your husband are the 4th couple just this year I’ve heard of who have gotten pregnant using NFP!
I am so excited for you! And exhausted! And excited!
I love your blog!
Congratulations on the new pregnancy, Jennifer! I will remember you and your health issues in my prayers. In all your spare time
,you may want to look into classical homeopathy as a possiblility for your clotting disorder. Homeopathy is a healing modality that has the capability to heal otherwise incurable conditions, as has happened in my family. Check out http://www.impossiblecure.com. Peace and God bless!