My point — as a sr. in high school I was one of the homecoming nominees. I ended up in an impromptu meeting with the two other nominated girls and some other students in charge of organizing the event. The other two girls were being very adamant about not wanting to be paired up with a certain one of the three boys who were to be our escorts. He wasn’t one of the “popular” crowd, he was shy, and not handsome in the shallow high school sense of the word. I wasn’t surprised by their adamant and had suspected they would try to “dump” him on me (even though they weren’t asking me to directly, it certainly was implied); I had nothing against him but I didn’t know him at all, either.

So I simply volunteered that I would be paired with him, and that it was no big deal. I was chagrined about feeling backed into a corner but torn between feeling sorry for myself (I liked the other two guys better, too) and feeling bad for the guy they were trying to avoid.

A couple of years later my mom told me that she had heard about what I’d done, how I’d “stuck up for him”, or however she put it. (almost 20 years ago now!) and how the person who told her had been so impressed by what he’d witnessed. I vaguely knew the source of how she knew — another student who had been in the next room from where the other girls and I were talking about the event and had heard the entire exchange. I had never known anyone had overheard, and probably neither did the other two girls.

Many times since then I have resisted commenting or going along with negative comments; and many, many times I have averted being seriously burned by something I had perhaps agreed with, but never voiced in conversation. Again, I can’t explain it, but it’s been a blessing in so many ways. And that early lesson has always felt like a confirmation that it is worth it.

I actually felt embarrassed when my mom relayed to me what she’d been told. I remembered my feelings in that room, and they weren’t exactly righteous. I was feeling ganged up on by the other two, (seemingly) much more confident girls, and had tried to downplay it by acting nonchalant. Yes, I felt bad for the guy, but I also felt very bad for myself and my lack of courage to stand up to them. Go figure — my apparent weakness was, unbeknown to me, being witnessed as a strength. Talk about a lesson.

Sorry for going on so long. You brought back memories, and this is a topic I have ruminated on of late and wondered why I don’t struggle with this as much as other women? (I have my own vices, believe me you.) — This was the incident that immediately came to mind when I read yours. We were both saved, in different ways. I’m glad for you to have taken the lesson to heart without someone first having to be hurt by your words.

(Also, note that we plan on marrying at least 9 months before any such presents arrive)

1. I love my next-door neighbor in the dorm. She is like Lucille Ball reincarnate (red hair and all–no offense to any redheads ).

2. I saw a baby at Mass yesterday. I told my boyfriend he has to get me one for my twenty-third birthday.

3. I’m turning 19 on Monday.

4. I’m a bit anxious about the possibility of a party. On the one hand, if nobody ends up surprising me with one I might be sad. On the other hand, my overplanning introverted self is going to have a hard time being spontaneous with the whole surprise thing (I think one of my friends is planning something, but she’s being very secretive.)

5. I’m sleepy.

6. Dude, it is six weeks until Christmas?! When did THAT happen?
(Dear self: Your birthday is always six weeks before Christmas. You should not be that surprised.)

7. My desk looks like something died on it. Eventually the Clutter Beast will engulf my laptop and I will have to clean intstead of surfing blogs.

I haven’t commented on the book updates before, but I find your progress really interesting. It’s fun to get a glimpse of what it’s like to be an author. Your diligence on this project impresses me, and I wish you the best of luck with it.

Susan – I think some atheists fear that if they don’t organize, they risk going to church becoming mandatory in our society. There would go their sleeping in on Sundays.

Imagine the whole congregation doing that!

Heh.

Otepoti