The kids in our church who went to the nursery for the whole services are not practicing Christians as adults. The kids I knew whose parents took them out and punished them are also nowhere to be seen. Meanwhile my two are devout adult Catholics who can sit through even long liturgies with great joy.

We didn’t allow books, toys, snacks forever. By the time they were 5 or so they had the back of the church bulletin and a pen to either take notes or doodle with.

Last year I took my grandniece (6 years old) to Mass. She isn’t a regular Mass attender and she’s a really fidgety active kid. I found that a children’s book about the Mass which I could quietly show her so she could see where we were in the liturgy really helped her attention. We had read the book ahead of time and now she could see the Mass in action.

Each child is different, each family is different, but the goal should be to introduce our kids to the One whom the Mass centers around. He was the one who said, “suffer the little children.” We need to both be considerate of the others around us and sensitive to the needs of our own children. Practicing during the week, reading to them about the Mass, showing them stained glass windows with saints they’ve heard stories about, bringing them to the church during the week and showing them the various statues, windows, tabernacle etc. All of those things help them to find Mass a place that is comfortable rather than miserable.

I would also say that one of the most wiggly kids I’ve seen outside of Mass is a wonderfully quiet little girl during Mass. Her parents have introduced her to the idea that Jesus is hiding in the Blessed Sacrament. She’s only two and a half, but she already knows that Jesus is actually there at Mass and she behaves as if she believes it.

It’s Sesame Street, except holy!

This post has been brought to you by the letters I, H, and S, and by the number 7 as in Sacraments.

Disclosure: I had my kids late and only received 2 living children. One of them was “one of those” — he grew out of it, thanks be to God.

1. No food or snacks once they’re over three. Before that, we brought something not messy and not sugary (raisins, fish crackers, etc.) and sippies of water. I still bring water, since we’re EO and our service is almost two hours (my kids are now 7, 5 and 3).

2. No toys, although I do bring paper and pencils and the kids are allowed to draw. They are also allowed to read, although now that my oldest is reading, he’s generally required to read along in the service book for parts of the Liturgy.

3. Sit near the front. I find it really helps to keep the kids interested in what’s going on. We don’t have pews, so the kids are allowed to wander around a bit, but they must be quiet. We do take shoes off if they become annoying.

4. Teach the kids the more interactive parts of the service: when to stand, when to kneel, when to make the sign of the cross, how to say the Lord’s Prayer, etc. As they get older especially, this helps them know where they’re at in the service.

5. I really think what helps our kids is that in general we expect first-time obedience. We talk a lot about controlling our bodies, being respectful of others, etc. I don’t allow the kids to run amok at the grocery store either. What is hard as kids get older is that other parents have different standards of behavior (some allow books and toys, some don’t, some allow the kids to sit away from parents). It’s even hard for the older kids to watch the younger ones be allowed to do things they’re not. But that’s part of getting bigger, I suppose.

And the thing I always try to remind myself after an especially difficult Liturgy is that this, too, shall pass. They do get older and eventually they stop being so wiggly.