"I want to homeschool, but I’m afraid"
12 common concerns about homeschooling, and a request for advice
I get a lot of emails that say something along the lines of, “I like the idea of homeschooling, but I’m afraid I couldn’t do it.” I can relate to that feeling.
The whole idea of homeschooling used to be utterly unappealing and baffling to me, but after getting to know a lot of homeschooling families as well as researching the subject for three years now, my husband and I have come to believe that some sort of home-based education (which might include co-ops, online classes, occasional classes at outside institutions, etc.) is the best option for our family. The details of how we arrived at that conclusion are the subject of another post, but I listed some resources that I found compelling at the bottom of this post in case anyone’s interested.
Anyway, I do have days (like, uhh, today, for example) where the ratio of household chaos to my energy level is so high that I think in exasperation, “What was I thinking? There is NO WAY I could EVER homeschool!” Based on the number of emails I get on this subject, I know that I’m not the only parent who feels this way: I want to homeschool but, gosh, how could I possibly do it?
I decided to put together a collection of the most common concerns I hear, and put them out there to get advice and encouragement from experienced homeschoolers. When I talk to other parents who are considering going this route, these are the most frequent worries I hear discussed:
- “I worry about getting physically and mentally overwhelmed — I find motherhood hard enough without the responsibility of being primary educator of my children. Is there any way to both homeschool and make sure I get the breaks that I need?”
- “My kids are already in school. I worry that they’ll balk at the idea of doing school in the house.”
- “I have babies/toddlers around and will probably have more in the future. How can I make sure the older kids get a good education with little ones underfoot?”
- “I’m not particularly good at math [or other subject], and I worry that my children’s education would suffer in that area.”
- “There are so many curricula out there! I have no idea how to find one that’s right for us.”
- “Our families are adamantly opposed to the idea of homeschooling and would put a ton of pressure on us not to do it, which would be distracting and demoralizing.”
- “I worry that my children won’t respect me as a teacher and/or won’t strive to succeed they way they would with the external approval that comes with traditional schools.”
- “I don’t worry about giving my young children a good education, but what about when you get to the high school level? I don’t see how I could provide the same quality of education as, say, an AP-level class at a good public high school.”
- “I’m naturally disorganized and scattered. I worry that my children would have zero structure in their lives and/or that I wouldn’t be able to keep on top of everything.”
- “I worry that my kids won’t have any friends” or “I don’t have a large family; I’m concerned that my child/children wouldn’t get enough interaction with other kids.”
- “We have a small house that’s already cramped. I can’t figure out how we’d even make space to homeschool, and feel like we’d all go stircrazy being in the house all day, every day.”
- “Money is tight — I worry that buying all the curricula, books, supplies, etc. for all the kids would break the bank.”
If any experienced homeschooling parents have shared any of these worries and found ways to overcome them, we’d love to hear about it! (I don’t expect that any one commenter would feel up to tackling all of these — I’m thinking that people could just write in and address whichever concerns they most relate to.)
Also, I want to clarify that the point of this post is not to suggest that homeschooling is right for every family or that it’s “wrong” not to go this route. I hope that this discussion will simply be one of friendly encouragement for people who have discerned that this is the right path for their family but feel overwhelmed by what all it involves. I look forward to reading your comments!
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- Ann Voskamp had some lovely thoughts here about the pros and cons of homeschooling, as well as how and why her family went that route
- The Philosopher Mom’s “Why I homeschool” post has some great food for thought
- Schooling at Home by Sally Thomas is one of the best articles I’ve ever read on this subject
- This post has an excerpt from an interesting study about homeschooling and socialization
- This post about how to get started homeschooling has a wealth of information — a must-read for anyone about to take the leap
For your convenience, you can have each Conversion Diary post delivered on a feed reader or by email.
If I may clarify, I believe the only reason to do anything is because you think it is what God wants you to do.
However, God almost never descends from the heavens and writes the day's agenda on a stone tablet!
So,yes, God has given us intelligence, will, and memory, and we use these to figure out God's will. Faith and reason never conflict.
Seeing the pros and cons of homeschooling is part of that discernment. Of course there are other excellent reasons to home school (and not to home school), but the decision to seek God's will and follow it will be the ultimate deciding factor in the decision of how to educate our children. When I say it is the only reason, I mean it it the ultimate reason which decides all others.
I would also like to disclose that my husband is a public school teacher.
One last piece of advice for Jen: Discern a short mission statement with your husband so that you have a clear view of why you are homeschooling. This will simplify all the little decisions.
For example, ours is: To help our children become who God created them to be. In practice this means our curriculum choices are very tailored to each child and very flexible. When I need to make a choice about co-ops, activities, and materials, this guides my choices.
Another example would be: To give my children the highest possible classical education. This could have guided me in the direction of a packaged curriculum with Greek and Latin.
The choice that is best is the one God is calling you to, and you can trust Him to show it to you. You will know when you find it because you will have joy.
I blogged about this here:
http://zoomtimes.blogspot.com/2008/09/anything-and-everything.html
First of all, I have no advice to give about homeschooling because I don't do it. However, when making any decision regarding your family's education or well being, I've always found David Covey's principal of "beginning with the end in mind" to be of utmost importance. Your son is still very little. Start small, keep it simple and take year/month/day by day. It doesn't have to be complicated or difficult to work. Don't worry about anything else. The future will take care of itself.
I came back to this post no less than 3 times to make sure I'd catch all the comments – and I spent a decent amount of time following the links. I feel reasonably good about my decision to homeschool, though Hubs is a bit worried about the amount of work. I'd be more worried about getting my kid (hopefully someday kidS!) on the bus before 7 and not getting them back until 4:30. That's just too long. Plus – and most importantly – there's just too much to learn at home, especially since I hope we are living on our farm by then. Honestly, I can't wait! Anyway. Linked to this on my weekly roundup – post is here. Thanks so much for putting this out to your great readers!
Okay, I'm going to address the "they won't have any friends" concern, along with the opposed in-laws.
I was homeschooled between 8th and 12th grades. My parents kept us actively involved in church activities and our local homeschool group. It was just never an issue.
However, that was the biggest concern for my in-laws, who thought the kids would be too "sheltered" or socially deprived and, as a result, they would end up "weird." Yeah, thanks.
If anything, we are an OVER-socialized family, and I've learned to cut down on activities. There are SO many opportunities, co-ops, support groups, classes, field trips, playgroups, etc for homeschoolers now. We have to really pick and choose which things to participate in. We've found this to be true for most other homeschoolers as well. I believe they have more socialization, and it's of higher quality: you are choosing who they socialize with and where it takes place.
My in-laws are great supporters now, as they've seen my kids grow and mature. I actually heard my mother-in-law bragging about our daughter a few months ago, followed by the comment, "yes, well, she's homeschooled you know."
I agree, too, that if a family feels led to homeschool, God will give resources, support, and grace as it's needed. Take one day at a time.
We decided to homeschool this year after four years at the local Montessori School.
We have chosen the traditional curriculum of the Classical Liberal Arts Academy, a new group out of North Carolina. A classicist couple live with their several children in the country and study the trivium and quadrivium together. They pray the Liturgy of the Hours and try to live as lay Dominicans.
We will tell you what we think after a few weeks.
Thanks for this post. It was a good one. We are not a homeschooling family. After having 5 kids in 5 years, I know my current limits. But I think homeschooling is a beautiful gift to family life. I am at peace with sending my children to an excellent Catholic school. But I also am open to the idea of maybe doing it in the future … Until then, I will enjoy *teaching* preschool to my 4-year-old this fall. We'll see how that goes and go from there.
I just came across your blog and am so glad I did. My oldest daughter was in a really bad accident in sixth grade. She missed a month of school. Seventh grade she missed so much school because of dr. appointments and because she developed psoriasis due to her accident. The school district was going to fail her. I took her out and homeschooled her. It was so successful. She looked forward to her assignments and didn't feel the apprehension she used to feel in public school if she didnt understand something and needed more time. As a result I withdrew my youngest daughter who would now be in third grade and have begun homeschooling her.
I go to the website of their "grade" through the school district and am able to follow exactly what they are learning at public school. They can work ahead and learn at their own pace with out being held behind.
We have also found a website GSN that is VERY affordable and provides everything you need to homeschool. No books…its all done online.
I work part time and worried very much that after my job and housework that I wouldn't have the time to work with them. We have put together a schedule of sorts and it's been successful. After dinner when tummies are full and the house is winding down we go over new materials. I grade when they are in bed and once a week each girl gets a one-on-one with me out of the house to go over areas they are having trouble with. So far so good. I may get less time blogging or reading but the education of my children comes secong to nothing.
I don't have kids, so I have never had to worry about homeschooling anyone, but I do know people who have used a great homeschooling program that works wonders for them. It is TTUISD. TTUISD is a K-12 diploma program that provides parents with all the tools they need to teach their children at a low cost.
I thought I would tell ya'll about it because I think it would help quell a lot of homeschooling anxiety. Since TTUISD provides everything, it helps the parent become more of a mentor than a teacher. Also, TTUISD offers dual-credit classes that will give students the ability to earn college credit as well as challenge them more.
If you're interested, check it out at http://www.k12.ttu.edu!
I decided to do a version of a home-school program when I ended my sophomore year in high school because snowboarding became a bigger priority in my life as did competitive cheerleading and it was just WAY to hard to go to High School and balance the extra curricular activities plus, I was so sick of the drama and the bullying. It seems these days those things are getting so much worse. I just had an experience with some girls in high school trying to break up me and my boyfriend by telling me he was cheating on me with them. They lied and said they were 20 years old cause mind you that is how old I am and my boyfriend is 23 and so I am totally for home-schooling. My mom was also very worried about allowing me to do this because she works so much but, we found a very great alternative. My high school offered an independent study program where once a week we were required to go to school for one hour to turn in homework and discuss our work as well as get new assignments and in doing that I actually graduated a year early. My brother who struggles with grades also decided to take this option his senior year and he graduated with better grades then he’s ever got as well as 6months earlier than his actual graduation date. So for you moms who are nervous about doing full on home-school try seeing about these independent study programs I think both are wonderful ideas.