Why are you reading this blog when you could be reading Camp Patton?
I’m still in the land of Can’t Deal over here, which is good news for you since my inability to form words with my keyboard* has prompted me to do another undiscovered gems** post where I enlighten you about internet awesomeness of which you may have been heretofore unaware. Today’s gem: Camp Patton!
I don’t know whether it’s been good or bad for me that I discovered Grace Patton’s blog. On the plus side, her dry humor and concise writing style bless me with posts that don’t take a lot of time to read but always leave me either laughing, crying (from laughing), or shouting “SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS MY LIFE!” at my computer monitor. On the down side, I spent way too much time hitting Refresh on her homepage to see if she’s updated, and have a nagging sense that I cannot consider my life complete until I have read every post in her archives.
Not only has her Simon Says series convinced me that her husband and mine were separated at birth, but it has inspired other bloggers to round up “best of” quotes from their husbands that are equal in excellence (that last link coins the term “snacking trousers” — don’t miss it). Grace also introduced me to the use of the term “pre-game” as a verb, is crafty in ways that people like me can only imagine, and even manages to be funny about thyroid cancer.
And for the bonus round, her husband Simon is in residency to become an OB-GYN specializing in Natural Family Planning***. How cool is that? And just listen to how she suffers so that Simon can one day provide the world with quality pro-life medical care:
I’ve been moving one step forward and two steps back in the housework, patience, and personal appearance realms. Armed with a broom and baby wipes, I’m in a constant war with Julia’s breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, dessert, snack leftovers strewn about the house. Julia is put in her timeout spot more frequently every day for bopping Sebastian over the head. And while I was filling out paperwork at a recent appointment, I was asked if I worked outside the home with a tone that makes me fairly certain the kind gentleman had already clicked, “no!!!!” using my momfit (ill-fitting jeans, sweater over turtleneck and one pearl in left ear) and mom scent (casserole of spit up, toddler breath and a perfume mask) as telling indicators.
So, there you go. I recently emailed Grace and promised to share my husband’s super secret margarita recipe that he’s spent years perfecting (YEARS) if she promises to update her blog twice a day, so hopefully there will be many more posts to come. Enjoy!
* I’ve hired a trained monkey to write my Register posts.
** I know, I know, someone is going to point out that everyone already reads Grace Patton’s blog and it’s not exactly “undiscovered.” I simply mean “undiscovered by me,” and “I spend an embarrassing amount of time staring at her website and wanted to share it with you all but didn’t know how else to categorize such a post so I put it in ‘undiscovered gems.'”
*** Yes, I did have to double-check to make sure I knew that because Grace said it publicly and not from Google stalking her.