I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

Behold, my staggering lack of attention to detail works its wonders again! Last week, before I wrote that I’d have the free ebook ready today (which implies first thing this morning), I paused for a moment to make sure that would work.

The following data points came to mind:

  1. I had a few hours of work left to do on the technical end before I could launch it.
  2. I had a crazy-busy weekend of flying to Raleigh for Ignited by Truth to give three talks, each an hour long, in front of thousands of people.
  3. I would be getting back from Raleigh on Sunday afternoon.
facetime I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

The kids Facetimed me to show me that the catalogue with my book on the cover arrived. And I was like, “I WILL EAT YOU NOW!” Actually, no. But that’s what the expression on my face makes it look like.

Now. A normal, mentally coherent person would step through those points thusly:

A few hours of work left on the ebook. –> It’s programming work, which requires a clear head and concentration. –> I won’t get much sleep in Raleigh because of talk prep and travel. –> Travel is tiring. –> I’ll want to spend most of the time hanging out with the kids when I get back on Sunday. –> I will be exhausted DOWN TO THE MARROW OF MY BONES by the time Sunday night rolls around. –> I’ll be doing homeschool and more family catchup time Monday morning. –> The earliest I could have the ebook ready to launch is late afternoon on Monday.

Here is how my brain processes the facts:

A few hours of work left on the ebook. –> Something about Raleigh. –> I’m getting back at some point. Sunday? –> Hey, what’s on Twitter? Oh my gosh that’s so funny. RT!!! –> I’m hungry for cheese. –> What was I thinking about? Oh! The ebook. –> Monday. –> There are lots of hours between Sunday and Monday. –> I’ll have tons of time to work on web programming in that amorphous block of time between when my plane lands and when I need to go to bed Sunday night. –> I’m announcing on my blog that I’ll launch the ebook first thing Monday!

So, true to my word, the ebook WILL be available by the end of the day today. But I point your attention to the fact that Monday does not technically end until 11:59 PM.

In other words: keep checking back today. I’m working on it.

Meanwhile, here are a few of stories from Ignited by Truth to amuse you while you wait:

teleprompter I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

That would be an ice bucket from the hotel acting as a shade for my teleprompter/iPad. That’s called Jenprovising.

ignited by truth jennifer fulwiler I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

* * *

The big speakers were Scott and Kimberly Hahn, two of the most well-known people in American Catholicism, and I was hoping I’d get to meet them. Our paths have crossed at other conferences, but I’d never had a chance to say hello.

On Friday night I was scrambling to put the finishing touches on my talks, so I’d taken off my makeup and put on my pajamas early to hole myself up in my hotel room. Late that night I got hungry, so I decided to run down to the lobby to buy a bag of chips.

I paused and thought about putting on real clothes. Or shoes. Or taking my hair out of the ridiculous attempt at a bun that I’d done with one hand, using a Hello Kitty hair band that ended up in my suitcase, while practicing my speech. But I decided against it. Obviously, the lobby would be deserted since it was SO LATE.

(Fascinating fact: Did you know that when you’re in a city that is hundreds of miles north of where you live, and it’s a rainy night, it will appear to get dark much earlier than what you’re used to, thus giving you the impression that it is much later than it actually is?)

You know where this is going, don’t you?

I turned the corner into the lobby, looking like I just got kicked out of a pajama party for slobs, and there was Kimberly Hahn and a representative from the conference — I almost literally ran into them.

I thought about staring off into space, turning around, and trying to play it off like I was a random hotel guest who was sleepwalking, but they seemed to recognize me. So I just had to own it. And there in my socked feet and pajama pants, I extended my hand and said, “Mrs. Hahn, I’m Jennifer Fulwiler. It is such a pleasure to meet you.”

scott kimberly hahn jennifer fulwiler I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

Fortunately for my pride, I did have a chance to meet Dr. and Mrs. Hahn when I was dressed.

* * *

One of the talks I gave was a youth breakout about using social media to spread the Gospel. The young organizers were awesome enough to suggest that I enter to the song The Final Countdown, and that we should turn off all the lights and have people hold up their smartphones like at a concert.

Could there be a more beautiful vision?

jen fulwiler speaking I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

Getting my mic on.

Alas, the first problem arose even before I walked in. I was waiting in the hall for the music to begin, but the bathroom next to me had a hand dryer whose motor was evidently taken from a jet engine, so I couldn’t hear anything inside the room. I kept crowing, “Has the music started? Has the music started?” over the dryer, but I was already mic’d up so I’m pretty sure everyone inside heard me.

I finally walked in, and I leaned into it like a boss. I pumped my fists in the air, and I even did a little jump. I was ready to start the talk with a bang.

But we’d forgotten to clarify who would be responsible for turning on the lights. So the music was cut off…and then we all sat there in silent darkness. Finally I said, “Hey, could somebody turn on the lights?”

Later I would text this story to Melanie Shankle, and she said that it was such an Arrested Development moment that the only way it could have been improved were if I had ridden in on a Segway.

I assure you that my speaking contract will soon be updated to note that I require a Segway and a recording of The Final Countdown for all of my talks.

new media I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

I had The Final Countdown running through my head the whole time.

* * *

Everyone in Raleigh is awesome.

jen group I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

New friends who came by my table!

 

group2 I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.

On the left is Trish and Marc, who basically saved my life with their wonderful support and assistance. On the right is my aunt Claudia and Uncle Kevin, who came to help because they’re awesome.

Thanks for having me, guys!

The ebook will be up in a few hours!

New here? Come say hi on Twitter at @jenfulwiler!



Enter the Conversation...

15 Responses to “I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM.”
  1. Loved reading all about some of the things that went on
    “behind the scenes” for you at IBT! So funny! And I kept wondering
    what that box was on your podium while listening to
    your talks….now I know! You must be a homeschool
    Mom being so creative! Now I’m curious to know who took
    the ice bucket picture while you were speaking because
    I don’t remember you or your Uncle taking pictures
    while you were on stage???? Glad you got to meet the Hahns
    in “regular” clothes. I met Kimberly, but didn’t snap a picture with
    her because in my mind you were the “big” speaker so I got a
    picture with you! It was a pleasure meeting you! Looking forward
    to reading your book and e-book! God bless!
    Tracy Bua Smith recently posted..Being Blessed by Speakers and Bloggers at the IBT Conference!

  2. Katie says:

    Just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and I just love it! So when I found out you were speaking at IBT I was super excited and insisted to my husband we go. And it did not disappoint! You were great and I enjoyed hearing you speak so much. I’m looking forward to your book coming out!

  3. Renee says:

    Looking forward to reading your book. It sounds like you had a great night preaching the gospel. x
    Hey cool post. * follower, love it if you followed me. http://reneehartsthis.blogspot.com.au/
    Renee x

  4. Trish Hurtgen says:

    Jen,
    It was a pleasure hosting you. What a fabulous conference! Thank you for being a part of IBT.
    In Christ,
    Trish

  5. Marcy K. says:

    I got my Ignatius catalog on Saturday and was SO excited for you. Congratulations!
    Marcy K. recently posted..Hymns As Poetry

  6. Mary Creger says:

    You are so funny! I wish that I could been at that conference!

  7. Laura PS says:

    Yay! Just dug out my Barnes&Noble gift card that has been languishing since Christmas — what a perfect use! And two e-books for the price of one warms my frugal heart. I am almost scared to say that I am an aspiring writer, but I am, so I had better own it, and the topic of the free e-book was what hooked me. Thank you!

  8. Susan M says:

    Thanks for being at IBT. You were the reason I was there (although Dr. Hahn’s talk was a nice bonus feature). Your talk was inspiring, funny, and just knocked it out of the park. Fun to hear about the behind the scenes. And, your post is a nice post for me as I am part of that group of “new friends.” We really enjoyed hearing you speak. It was so worth a drive from Greensboro. Thanks for putting up with the sky tube to get to NC.

  9. (Tasoni) says:

    LOLLL… Yes, pajama first impression. I feel ya. Can’t wait to read your book. Do we really have to wait a whole nother month :D?

  10. Elizabethe says:

    Make sure you also stipulate that there must be a bowl of m and ms with all the brown ones removed at your podium.

  11. S-L says:

    Good luck with the last bits of work, Jen! I can’t wait to read your book!

  12. Nichole says:

    The Final Countdown is the ultimate entrance song! And the lights staying off does add to the awkward, Arrested Development-esque element of it. How perfect. It’s instances such as that and your pajama clad introduction that make your blog so fun to read.
    My sis and bro-in-law entered their wedding reception to that song. I don’t use this word often, or ever, really, but it was epic!

  13. LarryM says:

    I was sitting at the side and I thought that ice bucket was some fancy schmancy small teleprompter or something! Hilarious!!!

    For all who weren’t able to hear Jennifer speak at IBT…if you get the chance, drop everything and go. She is FANTASTIC!

  14. Michelle says:

    I’m speaking this Saturday. Though, they said they will postpone the gig but I wish they do not so I can know how much I suck ASAP.

    -M
    Michelle recently posted..Todays Mom Coolmax Pregnancy Pillow Review

  15. MargoB says:

    “Here is how my brain processes the facts:

    ‘A few hours of work left on the ebook. –> Something about Raleigh. –> I’m getting back at some point. Sunday? –> Hey, what’s on Twitter? Oh my gosh that’s so funny. RT!!! –> I’m hungry for cheese. –> What was I thinking about? Oh! The ebook. –> Monday. –> There are lots of hours between Sunday and Monday. –> I’ll have tons of time to work on web programming in that amorphous block of time between when my plane lands and when I need to go to bed Sunday night. –> I’m announcing on my blog that I’ll launch the ebook first thing Monday!'”

    Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks like that! Somehow, the right dots and/or connections between them don’t always show up in my head. It bugs the heck out of me at times, but I haven’t found a happy medium that works for >90% of the time, so I just keep trying.