Scorpions

Shadow beliefs and giant centipedes

fr-jonathan-scorpion

One of the neighbor girls was here the other day. As soon as she walked in the door, I could tell that something was wrong. She sat anxiously on the edge of the couch for a while, half-heartedly playing with the kids, her mind elsewhere. Finally, she said what she had obviously been waiting to say: “Miss Jennifer, can I talk to you about something?” “Sure,” I said. I was more than happy to offer her soothing words of comfort and wisdom for whatever it was that troubled her. “Well…you see…” she struggled... Read More

If you want to whine about your alligator problem, don’t come to me

scorpionvalligator1

I was recently involved in an email exchange with Joe and some of his friends from Houston. The topic of conversation was a recent news story that took place at a house near where one of Joe’s friends lives, where a woman discovered this in her backyard pool: Evidently this is pretty common in their neck of the woods, as illustrated by this story and this one and this one. After that last set of links was sent around, someone chimed in to say, “Hey, Jen, you should be feeling thankful that all you have to deal with is scorpions!”... Read More

Why all my future posts will be typed with my feet suspended in the air

I had a whole other paragraph here but I just deleted it because SCORPION! So there I was, carefully typing out said paragraph, and I see a dark, moving object on the floor to my right. I knew even before I looked down what it was, since dark moving objects are only ever one thing in this house. But here’s the worst part: It was moving away from my desk in a clear trajectory. You would think that the “away” part would be good, but, nay, it was in fact deeply troubling, as it indicated that only a few seconds before, the scorpion... Read More

In which I ponder my horrible fate and consider getting a RelaxMan

relaxman

Well, that whole “sleeping” thing was nice while it lasted. Not that I had been doing a ton of it anyway. The baby keeps waking up in the middle of the night to yell for no particular reason (as my husband commented at 3:48 AM, “She seems to have lost her association of ‘darkness’ with ‘shut the &%*$ up'”). For a while that bothered me, and I wished that I could go ahead and not be jolted from peaceful slumber by the shouts of a 13-month-old dictator, but it’s all moot now, since I’m going... Read More

If I have to have a scorpion in my toilet, I should at least get a blog post out of it

scorpion-toilet

I don’t have much to say about this: Oh, wait. No, I do. Until I saw the picture to refresh my memory, I had forgotten that my charism is freaking out about scorpions. [Before I get started, let me apologize to any new readers who may have mistakenly thought this was a classy blog and were not prepared to see a close-up picture of a toilet and a scorpion when they checked for new posts at Conversion Diary today.] So anyway, I was walking by the hallway bathroom yesterday morning and noticed some object in the bottom of the toilet. In this... Read More

A day in the life of a Scorpionator

Some people have asked if there was any one last straw that led to my sudden internet fast a couple of weeks ago. Others have asked for details about the nature of my hysterical tweets from the afternoon of Friday, October 2nd. In this post I shall address both inquiries. The afternoon of Friday the 2nd started out perfectly lovely. I’d put my youngest two children down for naps and had set up my three-year-old daughter and five-year-old son for a little quiet time. All day I’d been drifting over to my computer, checking email here,... Read More

Hospitality and scorpion juice

Lately I’ve been inspired by the idea of Christian hospitality. In the past few months I’ve been making some baby steps towards playing hostess more regularly, not only inviting friends to my home more often but doing little extras to treat them as honored guests. As difficult as it is for a disorganized introvert like me, I’ve learned to delight in going the extra mile by tidying up the house or even by having a cold pitcher of frugal fruit tea ready upon my friends’ arrival. When fellow blogger and good friend Mrs. Darwin... Read More

Being stung by scorpions in bed: some people are bothered by this idea, others are not, and never the twain shall meet

chart-scorpions

Yaya and I had another go-round about scorpions today (although this time, thankfully, we were talking about theoretical scorpions and not actual scorpions that were being shaken in cups in front of my face). It all started when I explained to her that that it keeps me up at night to ponder the following data: In the interest of full disclosure, I should add that a few weeks ago a nice friend at a baby shower told me that when she lived in France they had scorpions in their house and this never happened to her. At first her statement shattered... Read More

You know you’re exhausted when…

You were stuck in the hospital for almost three days with free wireless internet and you didn’t even post on your blog. So my beautiful little Miss L arrive Tuesday afternoon after about six hours of labor, weighing in at 7 lbs. 1 oz. I’m feeling pretty good, better than I did with either of the previous births, but I’ve only slept about eight hours total since I left for the hospital early Tuesday morning, so I’m tired to the point of being kind of delusional. I can’t wait to do some posts about my experiences and... Read More

Would somebody please tell me how to turn off the "terrifying bug magnet" in my house?

Yesterday afternoon my toddler ran out onto the back porch to look for my husband. I was about to turn around and go back inside when I saw some stray toy in his path. I didn’t recognize this long black object with neon red and yellow accents it so I took a closer look. When my son was just about on top of it I realized that it was not in fact a toy, but rather THE BIGGEST FREAKING CENTIPEDE I HAVE EVER SEEN. (I did not use the word “freaking” at the time.) I’ll just tell you right now that whatever your visualizing is not... Read More

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