Translation, please

A family friend is over here to watch the kids while I write blog posts pay bills and do some work on a consulting project. I just heard a lot of commotion coming from the living room, and now she’s yelling about something. Unfortunately, she doesn’t speak English and my Spanish is not what it should be. She’s saying something like, “Dios mío! Jenny, venga! El niño movió la alfombra y se fue un alacrán MUY GRANDE! Es muy grande, Jenny!” Anybody know what that means? Did she say we won a big prize or something?  Read More →

I think God’s trying to tell me to call the exterminator

There’s been a battle raging the past few days between my laziness and my fear of scorpions: I really don’t feel like dealing with an exterminator visit again…yet my attempts to just forget about the fact that there is a vengeful scorpion lurking somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom or bathroom have not been successful. And then I hear this gem as part of the readings at Mass last night: “Behold, I have given you the power to ‘tread upon serpents’ and scorpions.” Since my attempts to tread upon scorpions... Read More

They’re baaaaack

My husband came home last night and picked up a book off of our bathroom floor. There was nothing under it. This is a very bad thing. There was supposed to be a scorpion under it. That’s right, they’re back. For all of you who read this blog only for scorpion stories and were wishing I’d stop boring on and on about all that Catholic stuff, your prayers have been answered. My thoughts are now 100% focused on the fact that there is a rogue scorpion somewhere in my house even as I type this who probably has a very bad attitude about... Read More

A scorpion. In a cup. In my kitchen.

My mother-in-law is in town for the weekend. This morning I walked downstairs to see the children dressed smartly, the table set with our nice china, and my mother-in-law serving up a lovely Eggs Florentine dish with the aroma of buttery homemade croissants wafting all through the house. Kidding, kidding! It’s not that kind of house. My mother-in-law is in town, but the rest of it is just a little fantasy I wanted to indulge in as a sanity-preservation technique. What actually happened is that I walked downstairs to have a cup with a scorpion... Read More

Q: What is more terrifying than a scorpion?

A: A scorpion that you thought was dead but turns out to be an angry, un-dead scorpion out for revenge. Have you ever seen one of those horror movies where it’s getting close to the end and the heroes finally kill the monster…but it was a little too easy? And as they’re casually high-fiving each other and turn their backs on the monster you want to scream, “Look out! He’s not dead yet!”, and sure enough, he suddenly comes back to life to terrorize them a bit more before the movie ends. That’s kind of how... Read More

When casual conversation turns controversial

The exterminator came today. (Why would I need an exterminator? Welcome, new reader! You can read of my woes here, here, here and here). As I followed him around with comments like, “Spray more there…more over there…” and, “Can you just unscrew the lid on that thing and start dumping chemicals everywhere?” we chit-chatted about various topics. He mentioned that his brother and sister-in-law were 16 weeks pregnant with their first child. After I said congratulations, he continued on that they’re going to... Read More

Scorpions, you have crossed the line

Guess what I found in a box of clothes in the baby’s room yesterday. A $50 bill! No, kidding. It’s not that kind of house. Any guesses what I actually found, about three feet away from the baby’s crib? Yeah. A scorpion. For new readers or hopelessly optimistic longtime readers, I should clarify that, unfortunately, I am not referring here to the glamrock band who rocked us all like a hurricane with their 1984 album Love at First Sting. As terrible as that would be, I’m talking about the real, pincer- and stinger-having, hiding-in-shoes,... Read More

A thought to close the day

Another day draws to a close. Time to shut down my computer, turn off the lights, and give my weary body a rest. I reflect back on the challenges and the joys of this day, wonder if I served God at each moment, feel content with my labor. And as the sun dips below the horizon and the evening draws nigh, I close my day with this thought: Scorpions are nocturnal.  Read More →

Greetings from the House ‘O Scorpions

So guess what was on the wall by my bed last night? That’s right. A scorpion. In my bedroom. Right by my bed (which, as I mentioned, I strongly prefer to be a scorpion-free zone). Had I turned out the lights just a few moments earlier, I would not have seen it scurrying up the wall, where it would have undoubtedly gone to the ceiling and then promptly fallen off when it was right over my bed (you laugh, but this actually happened to my uncle!) My husband suggested that we should ask around to see if our neighbors are having scorpion issues... Read More

Brother Scorpion, Sister Mosquito

It would appear that God’s plan for my life has something to do with scorpions. I saw yet another one on the kitchen floor this morning, which was actually less disconcerting than the one that was running at me on my bathroom floor a couple weeks ago (a terrifying seven feet away from my bed, where I SLEEP, that I prefer to be a scorpion-free zone). My house is full of them*. But I digress. Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking a lot about St. Francis, and trying to use his model of love, charity, simplicity and unrestrained joy at all of God’s... Read More

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