Taking some time off
I witnessed a terrible motorcycle accident in our neighborhood this weekend, and the victim was the brother of one of my little friends. I’m taking some time off to process it all. Please pray for all involved.
7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 171)
Let me just warn you that I am writing this on very little sleep. Last night was one of the worst nights I have had in my parenting history — and that is saying something, considering that my first child woke up every few hours around the clock until he was almost two years old. The 11-month-old baby woke up around midnight, and alternated crying, fussing, and loud babbling until 5:00 AM. As she is still in our room, this meant that neither my husband nor I slept at all last night.
Anyone who tells me to savor these moments because they go by so fast will have their IP address summarily banned and a virus downloaded to their computer that causes it to catch on fire.
The baby’s sleep has been drifting from “very good” to “not great” over the past few weeks, and I am extremely ready to get this under control. I believe in gentle parenting: My babies need to be gentle on me, and let me sleep. And so I wouldn’t mind a little intermittent Kim West-style “crying it out” to send the message that no, seriously, we sleep at night in this family. But the problem is that I don’t have the kind of house where I can do that. Just imagine this…
…in the crib with the baby. I wouldn’t be able to let her cry for ten seconds without imagining that she’s crying not because she’s frustrated about falling asleep, but because she is being STUNG OVER AND OVER AGAIN BY A VENOMOUS ARACHNID THAT IS ATTACKING HER IN HER CRIB!!!!!!
Let me bring some balance into this post by telling you about Megan Tietz’s new book, Spirit-Led Parenting. For those of you who aren’t already familiar with her, Megan blogs at Sorta Crunchy and has been joining us in Quick Takes for years. She and co-author Laura Oyer wrote the book with this mission:
In Spirit-Led Parenting, two mothers share their stories. They tell of a journey that began in fear-soaked, tear-stained days marked by an overwhelming fear of failure that eventually found redemption in discovering the freedom to ignore the wisdom of man and follow the direction of the Spirit. This gentle path looks toward the example of God the Father, seeks after Christ’s unequivocal call to servanthood, and leans upon the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in determining and meeting the individual needs of each unique child.
I had a chance to glance at an early copy of the book, and it’s delightful. Though my own parenting style differs slightly from that of Megan and Laura (read: I recently mused to a friend that my parenting book would be called Mommy Is Going to Die if You Don’t Stop Being Bad and Go to Sleep: A Guide to Draconian Parenting Methods), I appreciated how honest they were about their journeys, as well as their passion for helping moms and babies find peace during that intense first year.
One big issue we’re having is that the baby really needs her own space. But with seven people in a three-bedroom house, there is not a lot of space to be had. And so I’ve been drawing a lot of inspiration from the local Ikea, which has all sorts of model living spaces set up for people who live in tiny spaces. Check out this video to see what I mean:
Whenever I go to our local store, I am always fascinated by their little “Living in 550 Square Feet” model home things they have set up. All my efficiency-loving German genes come alive, and I stand in awe as I look up and down the wall and behold an area where not a single square inch is wasted. I am convinced that if I could just get hooked up with a ten thousand dollar Ikea gift card, I could transform my house into a model of efficiently used space.
From my homeowner’s association:
When I saw the peppy clipart of that zany little snake, I did not expect it to be a warning about rattlesnakes sighted within the neighborhood. That image goes with an announcement like, Lost pet snake – answers to ‘Snookums’. That is not the appropriate artwork for a communique that says, in so many words, “Hey, there are venomous creatures lurking in the neighborhood! Unlike the scorpions that fill your houses, these things can actually kill you! Have fun when you go for your next jog — hope you don’t die!” (I’m paraphrasing, but that is how I interpreted it.)
The best part was what came next, which I unfortunately could not capture in the screenshot: An admonishment that read “DO NOT PANIC!!!” (copied in the exact style it was written). OF COURSE!!! WHY WOULD I PANIC WHEN YOU ARE TELLING ME NOT TO, USING A BOLDED FONT AND THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS?!?!?!?! SOUNDS LIKE A LAID BACK SITUATION TO ME!!!
I recently downloaded a great album called The Covers, in which Christian artists cover classic popular songs. To get an idea of the effort that went into putting these songs together, check out Audrey Assad’s post about the song she chose to cover, Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here. This is one of my favorite albums I’ve bought in a long time.
(Which I discovered thanks to Marc Barnes, who, as far as I can tell, is becoming one of the most popular bloggers in the solar system.)
Don’t forget to take some time to read others’ Quick Takes posts on the list below. There’s always some great stuff there! It’s always a bright spot in my weekend to grab a cup of coffee and see what everyone else has to say.
I’m off to not sleep while not thinking about the scorpions and rattlesnakes that surround my house. Have a great weekend!
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A monthly roundup – May
ON THE CALENDAR
- Saturday, May 12 I’m excited to be speaking at a moms brunch at St. Thomas Aquinas parish in College Station, TX. For tickets or more information, call 979-693-6994.
- Friday, August 31 I’m honored to be giving a keynote presentation at the Catholic New Media Conference in Dallas, TX (along with my friends Elizabeth Scalia, Brandon Vogt, and a bunch of other great folks). Come join us!
GOOD STUFF TO CHECK OUT
- A family has been called to adopt a special little girl named Harper who has both HIV and Hepatitis C. Here’s an opportunity to help them raise the funds to make this happen, as well as having the chance to win great prizes. (You can see a picture of sweet Harper at the link as well.)
- Fr. Joseph Homick (whose blog is one of my favorites) has a special call to pray for people who have lost faith, specifically that they will come to know God in the last moments before their deaths. Check out this post for details, and to find out how to contact him to send him names of folks who need these kinds of prayers.
- The Benedictine Daughters of the Divine Will is a brand new order with a neat mission, which you can read about here. They need some funds to build a monastery. If you feel moved to help them with that, you can donate here.
FROM MY BLOG AT THE REGISTER
- 10 things I learned in our first full year of homeschooling
- Men’s real vocations are not their careers
- Why do we call it a “culture of death”?
- Thomas Merton’s prophetic warning about social media
Work like everything depends on you…or God?
A few years ago, I mentioned that one of my favorite quotes is this famous saying, usually attributed to Ignatius of Loyola:
Work as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God.
Love that! What it seemed to be saying was, “Work hard, pray hard.” This really resonated with the way I like to do things.
Then I got some emails from readers saying: That is probably not the correct version of the quote. Evidently, what St. Ignatius actually said was more along the lines of:
Work as if everything depended on God, pray as if everything depended on you.
I haven’t been able to find a source for the quote either way, so I’m not positive that this second one is correct. But quite a few knowledgeable people have emailed me to say that it is accurate, and it’s given me a lot to ponder. There’s a surprising amount of wisdom contained in this second quote. Consider:
Pray as if everything depended on you
Imagine that the leaders of the ten most populous countries were going to gather for a meeting about how they could usher in an era of peace and harmony, and they were going to invite one speaker to come and give them advice: You. Through some crazy circumstance, you were the sole person picked to address this group, and the FATE OF ALL HUMANITY hung in the balance of what you said. Can you imagine how hard you’d pray? I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if I would do anything but pray.
The thing that works about this advice is that high-pressure moments bring our weaknesses into relief. In daily life, it’s easy to try to control everything, to think and act like we have to need of God, because we are gods. But then when we are put in positions where we’re actually in charge of high-stakes situations, our mentality shifts. We see with startling clarity just how feeble we really are, and how unworthy we are of being in control of much of anything. At least in my experience, rarely are my prayers more passionate and sincere than when I end up in control of an important situation, and I feel like everything depends on me.
Work as if everything depended on God
When I first heard this version of the quote, I interpreted it to mean, “Be lazy.” It tells you a fair amount about my personality type that I thought, Sweet. If that’s true, then I can sit around and do nothing and trust that God will handle everything. I’m not wasting time on Twitter, I’m just following St. Ignatius’ advice and working as if everything depends on God (i.e., not at all)!
But I think that maybe, just maybe, I misunderstood what that advice is getting at. The quote, if correct, doesn’t say, “Don’t bother doing any work, because it all depends on God anyway.” Rather, the spirit of it is that we shouldn’t work in a frantic, controlling way. We should work diligently but peacefully, and not be afraid to rest when it’s time to rest.
Over at the Country Monks blog, Fr. Mark Stengel summed it up well when he wrote:
If I pray as if everything depends on me, I would have to pray with a greater sense of urgency and need, recognizing my own inadequacy. I would have to pray for the wisdom and strength that I will need. I would need to seek forgiveness and humility, so that my past sins and my present flaws might not be stumbling blocks for those I am trying to serve.
If I work as if everything depends on God, then I will go forward with greater confidence and energy, since the work to be done is in more capable hands than my own. If the outcome is in God’s hands, then I will perhaps be able to persevere in the face of opposition and apparent poor results. If it all depends on God, then I will not hesitate to “step out of the boat,” out of my own comfort zone, as I try to serve. And if God is in charge, then He will not allow my mistakes to ruin His work, but will make all things work together unto good.
Anyway, again, I’m not positive that the second version is even right. But even if it’s not, I think it contains a lot of rich food for thought. Which version makes most sense to you? Does anyone know for sure which one is correct?