Living an awesome story

A good nickname for me would be “Inertia,” because, like the dictionary definition of the word, I tend to “exist in a state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.” If my choice is accepting an invitation to go to an interesting social event or continuing to sit in front of my computer, I’ll choose the latter. If I had an idea for a new way to decorate the living room, I wouldn’t do it, even if I had the time or money. In other words, left to my own devices,... Read More

Trust School

I’m reading the astoundingly good book God’s Smuggler, which is the memoir of a Dutch Protestant missionary who smuggled Bibles behind the Iron Curtain during the Cold War. At its core, the book is all about trusting God. On almost every page there is some example of how God comes through when we place 100% of our trust in him and hold nothing back. One of the most interesting parts of the book for me was when the author, Andrew van der Bijl (a.k.a. Brother Andrew), talks about a unique type of missionary school he attended in Scotland.... Read More

The secret to a life of YES

A while back I posted a link to this fantastic post by Carrien, in which she suggests that the secret to an extraordinary life is simply saying YES. The whole thing is well worth reading, but here’s an excerpt: That got me thinking about other people I admire. I found the same theme. They said yes, when they could have said no. […] In 1976, at the age of 60, a woman by the name of Pauline Fell began walking the streets in the downtown eastside of Vancouver. Although she was a new Christian she asked God what He wanted her to do with... Read More

A day without fear

When Lent rolled around this year, I knew better than to try to attempt too much. Since I was scheduled to give birth to my fourth baby in five years just two weeks into the season, I knew that to plan to give up too much or add too many spiritual practices would be just setting myself up for failure. I tried to think of some change I could make that would be doable given my hectic life yet also challenge me spiritually. After some prayer I came up with an idea. It seemed too simple at the time, but it would end up having a far-reaching impact on... Read More

Fear is the absence of love

After a year of prayer, I finally found a fantastic spiritual director with whom I really click (just in time for this spiritual dry spell…coincidence?). When we met a couple weeks ago I was telling her about the “dark night of the soul” I was experiencing, and that a theme of this time period has been fear — not fear like terror, or even fear of anything big like health or safety — just the little fears that used to be part of daily life for me without God, but that I hadn’t experienced since my conversion. I... Read More

Admitting that I can’t do it all…or even half of it

One of my big goals for this new year is to finally get things under control, broadly speaking. Ever since I left the workforce about three years ago I’ve tried various Fly-Lady-inspired methods for getting organized and developing a routine to stay organized. I am a naturally scattered and lazy person, but I yearn to run my household with a lovely rhythm, knowing that every task has its place on the daily or weekly schedule, that it will all get done so long as I follow my routines. Yet, in three years, that has not happened. To give myself... Read More

Anxiety is easier

Last week St. Francis de Sales and some bad programming at Google Maps led me to one of the biggest realizations I’ve had this year: that anxiety = not trusting God. For a long time I knew that stress about certain individual matters was due to a prideful insistence that I had the best plan for how this or that situation needed to turn out. But it has been quite stunning to realize that every single time I am anxious, it is due to a lack of trust in God. So, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been trying to work on this by making a conscious... Read More

Anger, anxiety and trusting God

I never intended for controlling feelings of frustration and anger to be the theme of my prayers and writing for the past few weeks, but ever since the subject first came up I haven’t been able to avoid it. I didn’t realize how often I let my Irish temper get the best of me until I tried to work on it — and, boy, do I have a lot of work to do! But I had a major breakthrough this weekend that has brought me great peace that I thought I’d share in case anyone else finds it helpful: A couple weeks ago when I first started writing... Read More

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